Story Behind The Song
I wanted to touch on a subject that isn't liked at all in our culture.
A man regretting crossing the line with his woman during a fight and processing emotions. He is apologizing but still pleading to her while defending his position on why he hit her.
||Rap - Hip Hop, Rap - General
||Medium Slow (91 - 110)
|| Beside Yourself, Moving
|| Fight, Dysfunctional Relations
||2000 and later
(We don't go back this time
For a place to call my own, for a place that I call home.
We don't go back this time
For a place to call my own, for a place that I call home).
This is something we both will eventually have to face
so, we can do it right now or we can wait.
I figure since we're sitting here, let's get the ball rolling.
The elephant in the room is swollen.
Probably not the best word choice, considering what I did to you
but I never had any intent on hitting you.
I know there's nothing I can say to sympathetically explain
and I know the respect I lost I can never regain.
Because I did one thing I said I won't do
when I raised up my hand and put it down on you.
For what it's worth, I'm sorry, 'cause I know it's my fault
but my watered down apologies don't dilute the assault.
Even though you hit me first, it doesn't even matter
society only sees a woman battered.
It started off as a shouting match with us holding nothing back
until I snapped but my attack was the worst way to react...I'm sorry!
You know that's not who I am. Something came over me.
And for no more than a split second, my anger was controlling me.
Look at my hands. I can't stop them from shaking!
It's not 'cause I'm mad...it's from shock and frustration.
Damn! I'm so ashamed I can't even look at myself.
I can't look at you either because I see the welt.
I don't know what you think of me now but I hope you're not scared of me
'cause you hit me first and I hit you back after you kept daring me.
Not saying it's justified in no way, shape, or form
because for me, putting my hands on a woman is not the norm.
I only brought it up to point out that you're not blameless.
I hope this isn't something from which I become famous.
But if it is, I'll accept it and do what it takes
to prove this was merely an isolated mistake.
So, if you hit me again, I won't react the same way
but I wish I had a mulligan for today...I'm sorry.
Please say something to me 'cause this feeling is the worst.
It's never happened before, I promise this is the first,
I promise this is the last, I promise this is the only.
If there's a worse feeling than this, Somebody show me!
Whatever hurt you feel, I'm that times ten.
You could have done anything to me with your right to defend.
But, you didn't, and I'm down on my knees,
begging, "please don't leave!" Can't you see that I'm sorry?!
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