Story Behind The Song
I wrote the words "hypothetical and theoretical" on a piece of paper, thining they would be fun to rhyme, and went to bed. Got up the next day and wrote this, almost all in one shot. Someone sent me hate mail over this song. they smashed my cassette and wrote a note that said "sincerely, his grilfriend." yikes!
Song Description
Wicked homicidal (hypothetically) love triangle. The coy narrator wonders out loud whether she might get the gyu's interest if she managed to somehow get the current girl out of the picture by one of various hypothetical scenarios. no actual people were killed in the writing of this song.
| Song Length |
1:58 |
Genre |
Country - Alternative, Country - General |
| Tempo |
Fast (151 - 170) |
Lead Vocal |
Female Vocal |
| Mood |
Jovial, Vicious |
Subject |
Silliness, Unrequited Love |
| Similar Artists |
Weird Al Yankovic, The Judds |
Language |
English |
| Era |
1990 - 1999 |
| |
Lyrics
This song won several songwriting awards. I also made an appearance on USA's "Up All Night With Rhonda" doing this song. The episode was filmed in a condemned jail in New Jersey and Rhonda was canceled shortly after it aired.
I was just wondering hypothetically
What would you do? theoretically
If something should happen accidentally or medically
What if your girlfriend was gone?
If she died in a fire from a broken light fixture
Or happened to swallow a poisonous mixture
Would I find my way back into the picture
If you were suddenly alone?
Chorus:
Would you call me up
Would you write me a letter
Would you tie a message to your Irish Setter
Would you try to get through so we could be together
What if your girlfriend was gone?
If she disappeared without a trace
And everyone looked all over the place
Why do you have that look on your face?
It's not like I have any plans!
But if I were around and I could appease ya
And she was suddenly struck with amnesia
And never again would be able to please ya
Would you still wanna be her man?
Chorus
Of course, as you know, I'm a very nice girl
A beacon of light in a cold, cruel world
Evil plans I could never carry out..
But who could blame me for wonderin' about
If something should happen hypothetically
What would you do? theoretically
If something should happen accidentally or medically
What if your girlfriend was gone?
Chorus
Would you walk away from your deep devotion
Put a letter in a bottle and throw it in the ocean
Realize that you've got a notion
To give me my long overdue promotion
Chorus