Story Behind The Song

I was standing outside the Bluebird Cafe in Nahsville with another songwriter when soeone walked by using the F word flagrantly. In disgust my friend said "If I had the copyright on that word I'd be a rich man." I said "You have to write that song!" He said "You can't write a song about that!" I said "Consider it done."

Song Description

The F word is used 23 times, but is "bleeped" in this performance, which is funnier than actually saying the word, though some fo the wordsmithing is lost in the bleeping.

Lyrics

If I Had the Copyright on the word F**k
I'd say F**k this job and yourself you dumb F**k
No need for hard work and no need for luck
If I Had the Copyright on the word F**k

It's filthy it's nasty unseemly and vile
That all may be true but it's so versatile
So often deleted this fine expletive
Is a verb a noun and an adjective

If I Had the Copyright on the word F**k
I'd have no need for dad-gum dang darn shoot or shucks
No need for hard work and no need for luck
If I Had the Copyright on the word F**k

Not a gasp not a sigh from my mouth would be heard
Nope just a cha-ching when I hear the F word
If people got jealous of all of my wealth
I'd tell them to copyright sh*t, d*amn and h*ll

If I Had the Copyright on the word F**k
It would roll off my tongue like water off a duck
4-letter word usages perfectly honed
I could retire on New York alone

Where the say F**k the F**king mother F**kers
I don't give a F**k
If they can't F**king take F**king joke then hey what
the F**k
The F**kers will F**k you so don't get F**ked up
Quit F**kin' around or you're gonna get F**ked

If I Had the Copyright on the word F**k
I'd say F**k this job and yourself you dumb F**k
No need for hard work and no need for luck
If I Had the Copyright on the word F**k

copyright 2000 Carla Ulbrich (ASCAP)
pub Carla U publishing