Story Behind The Song

I wanted to write about being in denial. I had jotted down a bunch of ideas in a notebook and finally got motivated to finish it when I was on an airplane. Some passenger was extremely rude to me at the beginning of the 6-hour flight, so I took it out on my notebook, and this song resulted.

Song Description

A psych patient thinks she is doing so well, and in trying to explain how well she is doing, inadvertently reveals to the listener that she is really just in denial about all her problems.

Lyrics

I used to be leery of shrinks
I thought psychologists were jerks
But now look at me exhibit C
Proof that therapy works

Session One she asks me
"Now where shall we start?"
I said "I wish I were more together
That feeling tears me apart

I?m concerned I might be worrying too much
And I can?t stop thinking about whether I?m obsessive
Everybody thinks I?m paranoid
Gank thod I?m not lysdexic"

I used to be leery of shrinks
I thought psychologists were jerks
But now look at me exhibit C
I?m proof that therapy works

She says I should stop saying should
And I said "Yeah you?re right. I should.
But I can?t stop saying can?t."
She said "Now never say never." I said?
"I never would"

One of these days I?m going to stop procrastinating
I put it on my list every day
But I seriously doubt I can stop being negative
I mean what?s the point of that anyway?

She gets 90 bucks an hour
And more than a couple perks
But I carry no resentment
?cause I?m proof that therapy works

I have shown so much improvement
I am sure I?m on the mend
?Cause I have stopped repeating myself
Over and over and over again
Ad nauseum redundantly
Repeatedly without end?

And I no longer constantly exaggerate
Every single thing all of the time
And I have ceased endless rambling in run-on sentences that make no sense and that no one seems to care about except maybe me and even that is sometimes questionable and I watch as people?s eyes glaze over as if they had been up for 3 days straight studying for an exam or maybe driving all night because they forgot to reserve a hotel room and they were in Florida and they were afraid to pull over and take a nap because they had just read Flannery O?Connor?s
"A Good Man is Hard to Find"

But of all I?ve overcome so far
Of this I am most proud:
I no longer need to discuss my problems
In the presence of a crowd

Yes I?m ever so much better now
It drives my jealous friends berserk
Get a sliding scale fee you can be like me
Proof that therapy works