John Forster

John Forster

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Pop - Alternative | Nyack, New York, United States
Total Song Plays: 4,618   
Member Since: 2011
   Last Login: over 30 days ago

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60

Song Description

Sung from the POV of a hapless guy who tries to solve all his problems by reading "For Dummies" books.

Story Behind the Song

Written originally for NPR's Morning Edition, though never aired. It can be found on the cd "Broadsides," a John Forster and Tom Chapin duet album, consisting mainly of their topical songs written for NPR. For more info go to www.johnforster.com or http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/tchapinjforster.

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Lyrics

It changed the life I led,
Turned around my head.
I haven't been the same since the day I read--

"Investing On Line for Dummies,"
Which led to "Buying On Margin for Dummies."
That led to "Home Equity Loans for Dummies. "
And though I'm on a losing spree
It's gonna be all right, you'll see,
'Cause I just picked up "Bankruptcy for Dummies. "

I gave my daughter "Dating for Dummies."
Then she bought "Planning Your Own Wedding for Dummies." Then he bought "Anger Management for Dummies."
Has it been painful? Yes, of course.
At least they've got this great resource:
"Handling Your Own Divorce for Dummies."

Where everything you need to know
Is laid out neatly in a row
To give your life an easy overhaul.
When every illustrated tome
Cries "Pick me up and take me home!"
It's the siren call
Of the Yellow Wall.
Calling all Dummies.

I gave my wife "Trompe L'Oeil for Dummies."
She bought me "Plastering Your Walls for Dummies,"
Then "Wood Rot and Termite Repair for Dummies."
And now I'm down to crumbling brick,
My back is out, my heart is sick.
So I bought "Selling Your House Quick for Dummies."

I hadn't realized Ancient Greek
Was just the thing I yearned to speak
Until I saw it on my Visa bill.
And every time I buy a book
They simply bait another hook
With the pointless thrill
Of a useless skill.
Calling all dummies!

"Giving Up Smoking for Dummies"
Led me to "Self Realization for Dummies,"
Led me to "Finding Inner Peace for Dummies."
But I'll never find my inner peace
Until the day that they release
"Giving up '...For Dummies' for Dummies."

I'm all done with Dummies.
No more Dummies,
Dum... dum... dummies.

Song Length
3:16
Genres
Folk - Rock, Folk - Alternative
Tempo / Feel
Medium Fast (131 - 150)

Similar Artists
Randy Newman, Bob Dylan
Language
English
Era
2000 and later

Lyric Credits John Forster & Tom Chapin
Music Credits John Forster & Tom Chapin
Producer Credits John Forster & Tom Chapin
Publisher Credits Limousine Music Co. & The Last Music Co.
Performance Credits John Forster & Tom Chapin
Label Credits Sundance Records