Lyrics

HOMELAND INSECURITY
T. Edwin Doss
Copyr. 2002

George Bush SAID, "WE weRE SAFE".. HE HAD TOM RIDGE,
A VIETNAM VET, IT SEEMS I'M STILL PARANOID ABOUT
THIS TERRORIST THREAT.
WE'RE LOOKING FOR DIRTY BOMBS.. I'M NOT SURE JUST WHAT
THEY MEAN... SO WHAT, IF THE AL QUAEDA CAN'T TAKE A WHOLE
'LOTTA TIME TO CLEAN!

I HAVE THAT HOMELAND INSECURITY
I'M BREAKING OUT IN HIVES,...NERVOUS
AS I CAN BE...EVERYTIME I SEE THE GARBAGE MAN,
I IMAGINE HE'S A MEMBER OF THE TALIBAN..
WHEN MY PIT-BULL BARKS, I ROLL OUT THE PLASTIC
SHEETS.... JUST TO SLEEP AT NIGHT, I TAKE
PILLS TO GET SOME REST..BUT IT'S HARD TO
HOLD MY LOVELY WIFE, WEARING THAT BULLET-PROOF
VEST...SHE KNOWS THAT I AIN'T RIGHT. .. SAYS
I GOT THE DUCT TAPE WOUND A LITTLE TOO TIGHT..
I GOT THAT HOMELAND INSECURITY.

MY NEIGHBORS KNEW THINGS WERE WEIRD WHEN I PAINTED
THE HOUSE LIKE CAMOPHLAUGE. BUILT A REINFORCED BUNKER
INSIDE MY TWO-CAR GARAGE...HOW CAN I TRUST THE N.S.A.
I'M REALLY SCARED TO DEATH.. .AN 'OL BUDDY WORKS THERE,
SMOKES THE WACKY WEED.. HE HAS "HIGH" LEVEL CLEARANCE
WHEN HE HOLDS HIS BREATH!!!!

CHORUS

GO ON.. CALL ME A NUTCAKE..I'VE BEEN CALLED MUCH
WORSE BEFORE..SINCE YOU'RE NOT IMPRESSED WITH
MY FIVE INCH STEEL-PLATED DOOR.
BUT IF THEY EVER TRY SNEAKIN 'ROUND HERE, MY PIT-BULL
WILL HAVE A SECURITY PLAN.. HE WILL CHASE THOSE "EVIL-DOERS" ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE DESERTS TO THE HOLY LAND.

CHORUS