Lyrics

NOT ONE TOY'S DELIVERED IT'S LATE CHRISTMAS EVE
RUMORS FLYLIKE REINDEER BUT SANTA'S RELIEVED
AFTER PRAYING TO GOD, SANTA'S FACE WAS AGLOW
HE FOUND HIS LONG-LOST SANTA SACK IN THE SNOW

HE FLEW TO VIENNA TO MAKE A CERTAIN HEART SOAR
PUTTING HIS SLEIGH DOWN, HE KNOCKED ON A DOOR
YES, I'M SIGMUND FREUD THE FAMOUS PSYCHIATRIST
COME IN MY HOUSE SIR YOU DO NEED ANALYSIS

PLEASE LIE DOWN ON MY COUCH. FREE ASSOCIATE
STOP YOUR HO HO HOING THE HOUR'S GROWING LATE.
YOU CLAIM YOU'RE SANTA! ALL SANTA'S ARE JUST FUN
YOU'RE SUFFERING FROM HALLUCINATIONS SON!

YOUR BEARD'S SNOWWHITE AND YOU'RE BELLY'S ROUND
LIKE ALL THOSE STORE SANTAS ALL OVER TOWN
YOU'VE TALKED WITH REINDEER SINCE THE 3RD CENTURY!!
SIR YOU HAVE TOO MANY BATS IN YOUR BELFRY

HAVING A RED SLEIGH WITH EIGHT TINY REINDEER
PARKED AT MY HOUSE, PROVES NOTHING! BE CLEAR!
I DEMAND FACTS! YES, I WROTE TO SANTA YEARS AGO
HOW FASCINATING SIR, SO YOU TRULY DO KNOW!

MY PAPA WORKED LONG HOURS AND COULDN'T AFFORD TO BUY
THIS SPECIAL GIFT I WANTED WHEN I WAS KNEE HIGH
WISHING FOR A PRESENT FROM SANTA WASN'T VERY NICE
MY FAMILY WAS JEWISH; I WENT TO PAPA FOR ADVICE

PAPA GAVE PERMISSION FOR ME TO WRITE TO YOU.
BUT SANTA YOU NEVER EVER FOLLOWED THROUGH
WHAT! YOU WANT ME TO READ YOUR NOTE OF LONG AGO?
DOCTOR FREUD WAS SHOCKED HIS FACE TURNED AGLO\W

DEAR LITTLE SIGMUND HAPPY HANUKKAH TO YOU
HOPE YOU LOVE YOUR CHOO TRAIN FROM YOU KNOW WHO!
DOCTOR FREUD FORGIVE ME I HAVE TO JUMP IN MY SLEIGH
TO DELIVER ALL THESE TOYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS DAY