Lyrics

When I was about three years old I asked my old man
what he was gonna do with the fishing rod.
He said, I´m gonna try to get lucky
and maybe track down some salmon or maybe even some cod.
I said what if we don´t get lucky
and we don´t even catch one?
He said, don't worry about that,
then we're gonna drink a little liquor son.

When I was about seven years old I had a Swedish babysitter
who looked like she should have been on the Bikini Team.
When I was a bad boy she put my face in the corner,
if you know what I mean.
Late one night she was reading me
the comic strip version of Paul Bunyon,
well, we got to the part when he cut down the trees
and she said, would you like to drink a little liquor son?

When I was about thirteen years old
I found myself smack dab in the middle of Junior High.
Being on that prepubescent age
I couldn't keep my eyes off Miss Zahonis' thighs.
Well, one day she caught me looking at the back side of her ass,
she said, Mr. Lore,
I am afraid I'm going to have to see you after class.
Sure enough, when I showed up
she said voudrais-tu une boison?
Well, I looked in my French dictionary and sure enough,
it said do you wanna drink a little liquor son?

Well, I'm sure there's many more things more constructive
I could be doing than siting here watching all this paint dry,
like I could go down to the Esterbrook Lodge
and have myself a piece of cherry pie,
or maybe I could even cash my minimum wage paycheck
and go on down to Mile High.
Dressed in orange with a pumpkin on my head
yelling "Broncos number one",
a KC fan looked up at me and he said,
you better drink a little liquor son.