Song Description

The first cut is the deepest

Lyrics

SUSAN THINKS SHE ISN?T THIN ENOUGH,
SALLY?S TRYING TO PUT ON WEIGHT
TOM?S JUST HAD HIS DOUBLE CHIN REDUCED
COS HE THINKS HE?S REACHED HIS SELL-BY DATE
BRENDA GOT SOME BRAND NEW FRONTAL PROJECTIONS
AND SHE HOPES THE MEN ARE GOING TO STARE
BUT THEY?RE ALL TOO BUSY WORRYING
HOW LONG THEY?RE GOING TO KEEP THEIR HAIR

FREDA?S GONG TO GET SOME FAT SUCKED OUT
SHE WANTS HER THIGHS TO BE THE BEST
SHE?S HOPING THAT THE SURGEON CAN DO SOME RECYCLING
AND PUT IT BACK ON HER CHEST
FRED IS GOING TO HAVE A FACE LIFT
AND HE WANTS TO LIFT HIS SPIRITS TO
WITH HIS WRINKLES GONE HE ?LL SOON BE MOVING ON
TO ALL THE THINGS HE KNOWS HE WANTS TO DO

OH THE WORLD IS FULL OF MIRRORS
IF YOU WANT TO KEEP AN EYE ON YOU
AND YOU CAN SPEND A LOT OF TIME AND MONEY?
TRYING TO LOOK THE WAY YOU THINK YOU OUGHT TO DO
BUT NO-ONCE CARES WHAT YOUR PROFILE LOOKS LIKE?
OR HOW MANY NIPS AND TUCKS YOU MAKE
BUT YOU WILL ALWAYS KNOW IF YOU?RE
AN ORIGINAL OR JUST A FAKE

NEIL?S JUST HAD A NOSE JOB
HE BOUGHT IT ON THE INTERNET
HE DIDN?T KNOW HE?D HAVE TO FLY OUT TO MOSCOWAND HE HASN?T DARED LOOK IN THE MIRROR YET
LUCY?S HAD HER LIPS EXPANDED
AND NOW SHE?S GOT A PERMANENT POUT
HER BOYFRIEND DIDN?T RECOGNISE HER
AND NOW HE DOESN;T WANT TO TAKE HER OUT

BARBARA THINKS HER BUMS TOO BIG
BUT IT?S HARD FOR HER TO REALLY SEE
HER FRIENDS ALL SAY THAT IT REALLY ISN?T OVERSIZE
IT?S JUST THE WAY A BUM?S SUPPOSED TO BE
SHE WENT TO THE PLASTIC SURGEON
TO SEE WHAT COULD BE TRIMMED
HE SAID SHE SHOULD DO SOME MORE HORIZONTAL JOGGING
AND PLEASE COULD IT BE WITH HIM