Song Description

The Millers clan, The Carter clan, Uncle Wayne, Becky Lou, Bobby Donnell and Sue Ellen don't like each other too much... and everybody knows about it, even the dog...

Lyrics

"Keep Your Dog Off My Porch"
Written by Yves Stilmant © 2025
[Verse 1]
It started one night at the county dance
When Bobby Donnell stepped on Sue Ellen's pants
She slapped him silly with a fried pork chop
Now the Carter clan says the war won't stop
[Verse 2]
The Millers showed up with a case of beer
And a sign that said "Your brisket sucks, dear"
Uncle Wayne fired up his ol' John Deere
Drove it through their fence yellin' "Hold my deer!"
[Pre-Chorus]
Now it's moonshine-fueled and propane-lit
Ain't no treaty for this kind of spit
[Chorus]
Keep your dog off my porch
And your trash off my lawn
Don't let your cousin park his rusted van at dawn
Tell your rooster to shut up
Tell your kids to quit that drum
You bring one more casserole and I'll go full possum
We're neighbors by name but enemies by fate
And I swear on my boots, you ain't gettin' my gate!

[Verse 3]
Now Becky Lou's dating Billy Ray
Which means the Carter kid crossed lines today
Granny's on the roof with her BB gun
She's aiming at the grill -- just for fun
[Bridge]
There's smoke in the sky, and it ain't no fire
It's just Aunt Dottie torchin' Miller's spare tire
He called her a witch, she called him a clown
Now we've got turf lines drawn across town

[Final Chorus]
So keep your dog off my porch
And your meat off my grill
Keep your Uncle Earl from drinkin' Nyquil
Keep your preacher in check
Keep your boots off my deck
And tell your kin the squirrel stew made us all wrecked
It's a backyard war, and we're proud to fight
'Til the HOA kicks us out tonight!