Gary A. Edwards

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Russian Drinking Party

HERE'S A TOAST TO UNCLE JOE.
THE MAN OF STEEL FROM OLD MOSCOW.
HERE'S A TOAST TO ALL THE MEN,
THAT HE HAS HAD KILLED.
HE'S NEVER LOST AN ARGUMENT.
HIS FOES ARE COVERED WITH CEMENT.
AT TORTURE, MURDER, HE'S CONTENT.
HE IS VERY SKILLED.
STOLNICHNAYA
HERE'S TO YOUR RUMANIA
WE WERE FOES BUT NOW WE'RE FRIENDS.
OUR FRIENDSHIP WILL NEVER END
ONCE WE TAKE YOU OVER.
NOW YOU CAN GO BACK HOME.
NEVERMORE HAVE TO ROAM.
UNDER COMMUNISM'S DOME.
YOU'LL BE ALL IN CLOVER.
MEN'S ENSEMBLE
DA. DA. DA. DA.
YOU'LL BE ALL IN CLOVER, THEN.
DA. DA. DA. DA.
FREEDOM WILL BE OVER, THEN.
UNCLE OHLER
DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK.
DRINK AWAY YOUR CARES AND WOES.
DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK.
FORGET ABOUT THIS STUPID WAR.
STOLNICHNAYA
DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK.
DRINK UNTIL THE RISING SUN.
DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK.
DRINK UNTIL OBLIVION.

ARE YOU HUNGRY?
HAVE SOME PRUNES TO EAT.
(Handing the prunes to UNCLE OHLER.)
UNCLE OHLER
(aside)
ARE THESE POISONED?
(Aloud)
MMM. THEY CAN'T BE BEAT.
STOLNICHNAYA
HAVE YOU ANY PRETTY GIRLS?
UNCLE OHLER
(laughing)
ONLY OLD WOMEN WITH CURLS.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GIVE THEM A WHIRL?
STOLNICHNAYA
I'M TOO DRUNK. I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD.
(Lights focus on the rest of them, especially the girls who are shaking with fear. Barbara's teeth are chattering and she is shaking all over. Lights focus back on UNCLE OHLER and the men.)
UNCLE OHLER
LOOK THE SUN IS COMING UP.
STOLNICHNAYA
I GUESS I HAVE EMPTIED MY CUP.
UNCLE OHLER
WON'T YOU STAY AROUND TO SUP?
STOLNICHNAYA
NO, WE HAVE TO GO.
COME ON TROOPS, LET'S GO.
(Pats UNCLE OHLER on the shoulder)
"OMUL BUN." GOOD MAN.
DASVIDANYEH, TOVARISCHE.