Story Behind The Song

A woman was making my life miserable so I wondered how I could be so smart and so good at a lot of things but turned into a grade A jackass when it came to love. Hence: the song.

Song Description

The song swings. A NY critic said it's the kind of song Sinatra or Dino would have latched into. I think it evokes Cahn and Van Heusen.

Lyrics

UNIVERSAL TRUTH
YOU'VE JUST MET HER
YOU CAN'T FORGET HER,
YOU'RE VEXED, PERPLEXED
THE QUESTION IS WHAT'S NEXT:
WELL

EVERY MAN'S A SCHMUCK WHEN HE'S IN LOVE
DOESN'T MATTER IF HE'S A KING OR GOV,
ONCE SHE BATS HER EYES,
LOGIC UP AND FLIES,
YOU'RE PUNKED, SKUNKED, SLAM DUNKED
YOU'VE MET YOUR DEMISE.

EVERY MAN'S A JACKASS ON THE PHONE,
JUST A BALDING LONELY OLD GAVONE,
YOU SOB AND SIGH AND STARE
BUT SHE DON'T KNOW YOU'RE THERE
YOU'RE TOSSED, LOST, STAR CROSSED
WELCOME TO DESPAIR!

YOU MIGHT BE A CHAMP AND GO FOR FIFTEEN ROUNDS,
OR KNOCK A LITTLE BASEBALL OUT OF THE STADIUM GROUNDS,
BUT PALLY, ONCE SHE'S GOT YOU IN HER SIGHTS,
SAY HELLO TO SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!

ONCE SHE'S GOT YOU AND SHE KNOWS YOUR HERS,
SUCK IT UP, 'CAUSE NOW THE CALDRON STIRS,
THAT LIFE YOU KNEW IS GONE,
YOU'RE HER HELPLESS PAWN,
BROTHER, YOU'RE A SCHMUCK IN LOVE.

YOU'RE A GREAT BIG MAN RUNNING EVERY GAME IN TOWN,
BUT A LITTLE DAME CAN ALWAYS TAKE YOU DOWN,
YOU'RE THE DON AND HEADS ARE BEING CRACKED,
BUT WITH HER IT'S YOU WHO'S BEING WHACKED! THWACKED! SMACKED!

THERE'S NO CURE FOR WHAT I'VE GOT TO SAY,
IT'S THE SAME SAD STORY IF YOU'RE GAY,
ONCE YOUR HEART HAS FLIPPED
YOUR CONFIDENCE IS RIPPED,
BROTHER YOU'RE A MEMBER OF
THAT SORRY, SORRY CREW
NOW WELCOMES Y-O-U,
WHEN CUPID AIMED YOU DIDN'T DUCK,
BROTHER, YOU'RE ANOTHER SCHMUCK IN LOVE!!!

COPYRIGHT©2009 BY WILLIAM ZEFFIRO
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED