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A Larry Williams-type song about an old lady who's a nemesis on the road.
Itty Bitty Betty
© 2003 Will Stanley
She drives an ?82 LeBaron that?s cherry red
And you can only see her knuckles and the top of her head
People see her comin? and get out of the way
Cuz you never know just where that car is going to stray.
She pulls the Chrysler up to a traffic light
She waits a few seconds till the feeling?s right
She toots on the horn, calls out ?1,2,3
You?ve all had your turn, and now comes me.?
She?s a gray-haired biddy who can?t hold her car steady,
So you better watch out for Itty Bitty Betty.
No one knows what her real name is
Some say Eliza, and some say Liz
But if there?s one thing you don?t need to know
It?s that Itty Bitty Betty wears sexy clothes.
You can see the red bomb crawlin? through town
With 100 cars behind, and 100 angry frowns
But just try to pass, you?ll see why they wait
As she swerves to the left, just when you think she?s going straight.
If you see an old lady driving in her teddy,
Then you better look out, cuz it?s Itty Bitty Betty.
The cops can?t arrest her cuz she drives so slow
And she?s never had an accident though everybody knows
Bout a dozen people who?ve hit the guard rail
Tryin? to pass Betty drivin? slow as a snail.
If you see a red LeBaron, then you better get ready
Cuz you?re gonna need your patience behind Itty Bitty Betty.