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After seeing the umptenth millionaire "one percenter" don working class outfits and claim to speak for "the people" and then make things worse for us, I got hacked off and wrote a plea for them to shut up. My 9 year-old niece stepped up to the plate and spit the rant out for us.
Anyway, I feel much better now.
I just want to say to you rich leftist folk singers, please stop pretending to be me and speak for me!
Just cause you sing songs from our hills, make up stories bout hardships & struggles and rip your jeans, doesn't make you me!
I mean you can totally be the boss of your maids, cooks & accountants but please don't try to be the boss of me, my money, my security...
You tryna run our poor people stores outta town and declaring war on our employers. i mean i understand what you're tryna do but let me tell ya- one time my daddy gave me a dollar for doin' chores and my neighbor Betty Butterpants only got 50¢ from her daddy. That was a rip, I thought! So I went and stomped on Mr. Butterpants' foot but that just made him lose his job cause he was an interpretive dancer and now their familiy has to eat old fish sticks & has to live in one of those crappy neighborhoods where you take your album photos at!
You sure use the words 'highway', 'gypsy' and 'sweat' a lot. Don't you think we should prolly conserve them, cause we might run out of them one day with wordsmith spendthrifts like you throwin' them out there like it's nobody's business. Yeah!
Hey & if you get done early with that cocktail party you were gonna go to with your rich "conscience" leftist rapper friend, could you drop me by my house? The politician you stumped for raised taxes on gasolina & now poor people can't drive harly anywhere. And just so I can get into my house without bein' killed dead, can you ask your security guard if I can borrow his glock? Yeah, that gun control bill you rallied round left us humble means folk a little defensless out here and the thugs you sang freedom songs for have been let outta prison and they've been robbin' and hurtin' us all ever since. Thanks rich leftist folk singer!
And my penpal in Latin America also asked me to ask you after you got done tying your handerchiefs on your heads, suckin' fuel on your world tours & eatin' trees with your long interviews in newspapers & magazines telling everybody else what to think and all, to quit making heroes out of the revolutionaries who shot her parents and stole their farm! Your fans keep sending them $$$, which they buy more bulltets and bombs with!
"Now Blah blah, you've made the rich leftist folk singers feel foolish and they're crying so hard, tears are running down into their burkenstocks!"
Oh, I'm sorry folkies! I didn't mean to come off as so judgemental. Truth is, sometimes we both think we want what each has or don't has. So Just keep on doin' what ya do best, writing pretty tunes and all but how bout singin' bout what ya know- like fast cars, jet planes, space ships, plastic chins, fast jet plastic space chins with lazers on 'em! Yeah, tell us what's that about!
Tell ya what, how bout ya'll come over tonight for a little shindig! Yeah you can actually be in real not-rich person's house, which you can tell all your rich leftist friends about, tell you've studied our ways & smelled our smells or whatever socialist babel ya wanna tell 'em. We'll have lots of fun cause you'll find us working class people aren't as miserable as you portray us. Aww come on over rich lefty folky- I'm serving humus...with ketchup...on pork rinds!"