Story Behind The Song

I originally wrote this as a poem, and then added piano to it to make it into a song. I was initially hesitant to include in on my album, "The Brightness of Orchids," but my producers encouraged me to record it. Ironically, this is one of the most well-received songs on the album & it seems MANY people out there can relate to the feelings in it...

Song Description

This song is about the ongoing struggle - the internal war - I have with myself about where I fit in my own life.

Lyrics

THE WAR - Suzanne Vick (© 2009)

Sittin' up in the middle of the night
Feelin' sorry for myself / again
I don't think anyone knows
How dark I really am / they don't understand

I can't say why it's so / I just know
I'm tired of tryin' this damn hard / all the time

I don't know if I'm ever gonna win / sometimes I'm scared I'll get sucked in
To the darkness / that fights to control my mind
I fight like hell every day of my life / I fight against the oncoming night
That's gonna swallow me / somebody tell me if I'm ever gonna be alright

I put on such a happy face it's my shield
It's my sword / in this war
And I feel I'm running an endless race I can't run anymore
I'm tired and I'm sore

I'm bloody and I'm battered and I'm ragged and I'm torn
And I'm looking for love to win this war
But it never, it never seems to come from me

I don't know if I'm ever gonna win / sometimes I'm scared I'll get sucked in
To the darkness / that fights to control my mind
I fight like hell every day of my life / I fight against the oncoming night
That's gonna swallow me / and sometimes I wonder if I'm ever gonna be alright

So, take me under with you, when you go
Take me under with you, love, when you go
Take me under...

I don't know what I'm tryin' to win / sometimes I think I'll get sucked in
To the darkness / that fights to control my mind
But I'll fight like hell every day of my life / fight against the oncoming night
That's gonna swallow me
and something inside tells me it's gonna be alright...