Song Description

funny rap song about dysfunctional families at Christmas time

Lyrics

Can't get home for Christmas this year
Please understand oh mommy dear
I tried the airlines, I tried Greyhound
But not one seat was to be found

I can't get home for Chrismas this year
Even Amtrak can't get me there from here
I'm just so sad I'll have to miss
Mom and dad my little brother and sis

I can't get home for Christmas this year
I'll miss trimming the tree and the holiday cheer
And cousin Flo the ho with her mistletoe
And the kid next door eating yellow snow

I can't get home for Christmas this year
Don't tell nobody but I'm better off here
I'll have to miss the bliss of watching Rex the mutt
Try to pull the tinsel from the kitty cat's butt

Dear Santa, there's one thing on my wish list
Just don't make me go home for Christmas
'Cause I just don't want to be a witness
To what always ends up to be disastrous

Can't get home for Christmas this year
Oh no
Can't get home for Christmas this year
Oh no

You see my mom and dad are full of good intention
But there's just a few things that I should mention
Puttin' up with crazy relatives and condescension
why's the holiday season filled with family tension

Mom, she can't cook worth crap
Uncle Joe tries to get me to sit on his lap
Grandma's obsessed with saving the gift wrap
You just can't escape without some kind of mishap

Now dad will say to me, my little pet
How's the job situation, got insurance yet
Try a computer company, now there's a safe bet
You gotta start somewhere just get your feet wet

Your brother George just got a promotion
You should learn from him and get rid of this notion
That acting can ever be something stable
You're better off in Vegas at a black jack table

Can't get home for Christmas this year
Oh no
Can't get home for Christmas this year
Oh no

And while the turkey they'll be carvin'
I'll be starvin'
It'll sure beat visiting grandpa Marvin
Uncle Bob the slob who can't get a job
Aunt Martha passed out drunk from egg nog

Then as expected my mom will chime in
Food in her mouth gravy dripping from her chin
Sending signals in the air break out the antacids
So when am I gonna get some grandkids

Can't get home for Christmas this year
Oh no
Can't get home for Christmas this year
Oh no

What's that, oh no
The kid is eating yellow snow

Uh uh, no way, what the hell is that
Tinsel in the kitty cat's butt