Song Description

A satirical sexual escapade with lifestyle guru Martha Stewart

Lyrics

She put a handsome gold finish on my new cock ring
Cinched my sack with a ribbon, announced, "it's a good thing"
I wet her wrinkled dry flower with a playful Chablis
And with a sticky faux finish, I made the bitch scream

I threw a garden party in her briar snatch
Pruned her shrub with love and mulched her patch
I mowed it, composted, and toast it with wine
She said, "when entertaining guests, make sure you cum on time."

Martha Martha Stewart Stewart, how she do dat?
She made a decorative condom with a beaver skin hat
Martha Martha Stewart Stewart, do it again
With her green thumb in my bum ?this is living!?

Lounging poolside, with saltwater confections
I tasted her taffy, as she pulled my erection
In her French mesh armchair she started to shake
As I readied her clam for the evenings clambake

I?ve got my knife in her butter and her buns on my plate
Her oven mitts on my berries, turning raisins to grapes
We got that sleigh bed ringing, Making some noise
The night she entertained one-eyed Jack and the boys

Martha Martha Stewart Stewart, how she do dat?
She made a topiary dingle berry out of my crap
Martha Martha Stewart Stewart, do it again
This is no pier one shit, ?it?s a good thing!?

We did the kitchen, the bedroom and French bathroom
As I dusted her behind with my erect-tronic broom
On the inside, I gave her my stocky tip
But stayed away from the back, cause she?s so full of shit

We made finger-banging puppets out of Popsicle sticks
Blowing glass in her ass, making bottles and shit
Attention K-Mart shoppers, She?ll make it worth your while
Cause there?s a blue-ball special down the middle aisle

I sewed a glory hole, in the back of her silk pants
Then tossed her salad with my baby batter-milk ranch
After adding festive touches to her Botoxed face
I took a dump on the rug, told her ?to clean up the place?