Song Description

Christmas for the Redneck in all of us

Lyrics

My Trailer Park Christmas
By Dennis Fallon
Contact: dennisfallon@hotmail.com/814-234-5556
Copyright 2004.

Chorus
Christmas is coming to the trailer
Money?s tight, and Christmas don?t come every year
I ?m bringing home the presents tell your mama
You bring your cousin and he bring the beer

At my trailer park off of exit nine, behind the neon red casino sign
I lived in peace and perfect harmony

Then one December the plant closed down, they said, we?ll make these cheaper in china now
That meant no presents under our silver plastic tree

Unemployment checks wouldn?t come in time, this stinking dirty yuletide crime
No Christmas in our trailer park there?d be

My wife kicked me out and the kids were sad, at their stinking drinking no job dad,
Stopped at this little bar, to wash my cares from me

Had money from a plasma donation, I drank till I passed out and then
Some fellow woke me up said you should be ashamed

This old bum said he was my Christmas elf, sat down at the bar and helped himself
Drank his night train straight and said Herbie was his name

Then he told me what his horoscope said, that he?d end up rich or he?d end up dead
Had his veteran?s check and horse that could not be beat

Said come with me over to the casino son, make our money and have some fun
Sure beats spending Christmas on the street

Chief Wampum?s palace of delights was the only place open that night
We strolled right up to that glittering palace of sin

In the parking lot right on the ground, sat a bucket of chips no one around
Casino chips, big winnings, needed cashing in

We cashed those chips, for 300 grand, had the free buffet and away we ran
Had all the money I wished for and a bit more, too

Thought of all that money could buy for me, lap dances and widescreen TV
And more Shoal than a man could ever chew

Now it could?ve been the beer talking again, but I believe it was Christmas spirit, my friend
Had what I needed to make my Christmas wish come true

Then I looked around at my poor town, the money gone, the plant closed down
And I knew there was only one thing I could do

CHORUS

That Christmas Eve a storm blew in, the likes of which had never been
Roads were closed and the snow was coming down

And though we ain't to cute, and we sure aint bright, even the poor deserve a Christmas night
And hell or high-water I was bringing it to my little po dunk town

Had this charger rusting on my front lawn, no engine and the tire?s gone
We put that car up on two by fours like skis

Then took my neighbors blue tick hounds, and like a Santa from the wrong Side of town
Tied them up to the car pretty as you please

Those forty hounds they pulled my sleigh, rode pretty smooth, I?ve got to say
Passing snowed in cars and they looked on in fear

Tied the tailpipe up with Christmas bells, loaded racing hats and shotgun shells,
And a years supply of Pabts Blue Ribbon beer

Had trash bags full of trailer park toys for trailer park girls and trailer park boys
Beef jerky, Barbie dolls, pro-wrestling videos

The snow caused statewide emergency, but no pansy law was stopping me
We bought Christmas presents for everyone we knows

Drove through all the trailer parks in town, we was throwing out presents on the ground
To the dirt faced kids the junkies and Dinah the Christmas whore

And I suppose the law might say, we trespassing littering and speeding that day
But there?s being good or doing good, and one?s worth a little more

The Cops chased us with sirens flashing, tires skidding, patrol cars crashing
That blizzard snowed them in; it was a bit of Christmas fate

I kept a little bit of money for myself, gave about ten grand to my Christmas elf
He kept them forty blue tick hounds, and they say he moved upstate

Still money comes and money goes, but the spirit of Christmas it grows and grows
It?s not where you live, but how you live inside

And as my family gathered I shed a tear, as the meaning of Christmas was quite clear,
I said, ?We?re moving out, and getting a double wide!?

CHORUS
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