Story Behind The Song

One day, my friend & co-writer, Helena and I got together to write. She arrived & the first thing she said was, ?I feel fat today?. I looked at her: Helena is a gorgeous slim 5?10?, looks like Uma Thurman. I said, ?Are you kidding me?? (like Chandler Bing

Song Description

If Diana Krall was fat...

Lyrics

MY DIET STARTS TOMORROW

My closet?s full of clothes that don?t really fit
I buy a suit thinking I?ll shrink into it
I?ll put in shoulder pads to balance out my hips
But tell me, do these pants make my ass look too big?

I?ve got
Nothing to wear, I hate my hair
I might as well apply food directly to my thighs,
onion rings and crispy fries
I?d rather die than give up my tub of Rocky Road
Oooh, nothing beats the taste, can?t let it go to waste
My diet starts tomorrow

There?s never been a sight that?s greater than a full refrigerator
To choose is much too tough, I?ll eat until I?m stuffed
Then there?ll be so much more of me to love
My diet starts tomorrow

Step on the scale, I feel like a whale
I?m wearing 5-inch heels just to make myself look thin,
I hope black is always in
Nothing to do, what?s there to chew? No time for exercise
I?ve come to realize, Hey, I?m just too short for my size
My diet starts tomorrow

Forever counting grams of fat, how many calories in that?
If that?s what lies in store, then I?ll just eat some more
At the all-you-can-eat buffet today
?Cause my diet starts tomorrow