Story Behind The Song
This is the song I always hoped to write, chronicling those painful years of longing to be loved, followed by years of accepting that such love would never come, in the finality of death. Special shout out to my dear sister, Greta Mellenberger, who provided the lovely violin countermelodies. I love you.
| Song Length |
4:31 |
Genre |
Unique - Unclassified, Classical - Contemporary |
| Tempo |
Medium Slow (91 - 110) |
Lead Vocal |
Female Vocal |
| Mood |
Heartbreaking, Endearing |
Subject |
Change, Mother |
| Similar Artists |
Regina Spektor |
Language |
English |
Lyrics
When I was only one I felt fully grown
the most world-weary child you ever seen
And now that you're gone I feel newly born, the youngest I ever been
I had just put down my bottle when you picked up yours,
and like the changing of the guard I took the helm
To raise myself while you slept day and night in your regret
And emptiness, until you never woke a-gain,
Ooh, your parting gift made me brand new
And this losing win will see me through.
And, I-- I didn't know goddesses could die
But now I do. Now I do.
At nine I was all brawn, I could carry any bough that south wind brought down, the year of the ox was in my veins.
By the sweat of my brow, I could make you love me somehow, and like
Jacob be rewarded for my pains.
When as a child, I said "Mom, I'm not strong enough to go on,"
You said "Fine, then stay here in the snow."
And a year before you died, I said "Your drinking's killing me inside,"
And you said "Well, then go, just go."
How do you right the wrongs of well-intentioned
second chances long gone
beneath the eye of all that's passed?
Why do we climb that mountain just to jump off it again, and again
Why gather rosebuds when we know they won't last?
But if this is all there is and still we find the strength to persist
When the odds are set against us from the start
And if I'm all that's left of you, I'd rather show the best of you
And leave the rest as lessons learned from a broken heart