Lyrics

I'm such a loser
I never win anything
except that ticket
that I scratched
said I'm a winner
$20
and since my life
has gone downhill

that's why i gotta have
my own award show
where I'm the guest host
and you can't win anything
unless you're me
and you know
the fix is in.

Cause I'm on every panel
& I will make them hate me
as all the nominees
try to imitate me
I'll be such a bastard
& say 'you're so pathetic'
'go back home'
'you've got no talent'
and they will weep
and want to die

that's why i gotta have
my own award show
where I'm the guest host
and you can't win anything
unless you're me

Oh thank you thank you
it's such an honor
I want to stand
in just a minute
like this forever
I'd like to thank
all the people
who made this happen
and after that
I'd like to make a speech
to change the world
and make a difference
and to all the people
who made this happen
they don't matter
it's all about me
mother father
god and country
what did they do?
it's all about me
I see you sitting
staring at me
powerless
to even touch me
your eyes so full
of seething hatred
I want to stand
like this forever
thank you thank you

that's why i gotta have
my own award show
where I'm the guest host
and you can't win anything
unless you're me

and you know
the fix is in
at my award show.

lyrics ©2004 Jim Infantino