Lyrics

THE BALLAD OF ISAAC NEWTON

There once was a lad Isaac Newton.
Took a seat ?neath an apple tree
Pondering thoughts high falutin?
In the year sixteen sixty-three.

All of a sudden the wind blew.
A red juicy apple fell free.
Dropped on Newt?s head where a lump grew
Along with his big I-DE-A

Whatever goes up must come down.
I say! By Jove! Gadzooks! And Zound!
A law of nature I?ve just found.
A law that?s true the whole world ?round.

Whatever goes up must come down.
A new idea so profound
Throughout the globe it will resound.
From this day on, I?ll be renowned.

Who would have thought that this morning
After dining on crumpets and tea
From the blue with never a warning
I?d hit upon gravity?
(Or should I say that it hit me?)

Oh, what a to-do and hubbub
This revelation will be.
As Archimedes did in his bathtub,
I want to shout EU-RE-KA.

Whatever goes up must come down
Whether it?s square or whether it?s round,
The color purple or the color brown,
Light as a feather or
Three-hundred pound.

Whatever goes up must come down.
It?s true for the fox and true for the hound.
True in the country and true in the town.
True for the common and true for the crowned.

Oh, serpent, look how thine apple,
The fruit which you used to deceive,
Has unlocked a riddle that?s baffled
All mankind since Adam and Eve.

It unlocked a secret mysterious
Through sheer serendipity
That eluded all geniuses previous
In the hist?ry of A-CA-DE-ME-A.

Whatever goes up must come down
On mountain tops or underground.
Though bird and bees may fly around,
It?s to this earth we all are bound.

Whatever goes up must come down
The tallest building or the lowest mound.
Like Jericho?s walls at the trumpet?s sound,
Whatever goes up must come down.