Story Behind The Song

One of Jeff Mondak's songwriting partners, the folk singer Christine Lavin, told Jeff about sitting next to a guy who chewed tobacco on a commercial flight. This song tells the story from the guy's perspective.

Song Description

Fun Poco/Eagles-type harmonies in a silly song about a self-absorbed, gross man who chews tobacco while on a commercial airplane flight.

Lyrics

Chewin' Tobacco on Planes

Chewin' tobacco while taking a flight
Chompin' and sloshin' in 17C
Don't really mind that you don't think it's right
I spit in my cup in the land of the free

Rochester to Boston's too long to abstain
Pretend that it's baseball, I'm coming to bat
Or grab an umbrella, I'm fixin' to rain
Pittery, pattery, slobbery splat

I'm a-chewin', I'm a-chompin'
I'm a-slurpin' and a-sloppin'
I'm a-chewin' my tobacco on planes
With my frequent flyer miles
I'm a-spittin' down the aisles
I'm a-chewin' my tobacco on planes

Medical salesmen, we don't need advice
These blisters are nothing and teeth should be brown
I visit with doctors to show my device
Hawking my product all over your town

Flights can be bumpy and cups sometimes spill
But why should I care what others may think?
Be glad it's Boston instead of Brazil
And make sure you're right when you reach for your drink

I'm a-chewin', I'm a-chompin'
I'm a-slurpin' and a-sloppin'
I'm a-chewin' my tobacco on planes
With my frequent flyer miles
I'm a-spittin' down the aisles
I'm a-chewin' my tobacco on planes

I'm a-chewin', I'm a-chompin'
I'm a-slurpin' and a-sloppin'
I'm a-chewin' my tobacco on planes
With my frequent flyer miles
I'm a-spittin' down the aisles
I'm a-chewin' my tobacco on planes

You're startled, you're squeamish, you think I'm offensive
I'll spit where I want 'cause this flight was expensive
Your values and manners, they need readjusting
Be clueless, oblivious, gross and disgusting

I'm a-chewin', chompin'
Slurpin', sloppin'
I'm a-chewin' my tobacco on planes
I'm a-chewin' my tobacco on planes