Lyrics

VERSE1
I've got a little problem drivin' me insane
Middle my back 'tween my shoulder blades
I've twisted, I've squirmed, tried hot and cold showers
If I could, I'd calamine every hour

CHORUS
I'VE GOT THE ITCH, I CAN'T SCRATCH IT
I'VE GOTTA GET RELIEF OR END UP IN A STRAIGHT JACKET
HONEY, WON'T YOU HELP ME, DON'T YOU KNOW I CAN'T HACK IT
I'VE GOT THE ITCH, AND I CAN'T SCRATCH IT
(Always repeat last four lines)

VERSE2
I backed up to the wall, rubbed up and down
Grabbed a yard stick and tried poking around
Went to the doctor, he made a big frown
Said: Boy, what you got, no x-ray's ever found

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE3
Now, girl, you're the answer, don't you understand?
You're my woman, I'm your man
From now on your wish is my command
Honey, all you've gotta do is use your right hand

REPEAT CHORUS (VAMP THROUGH TALKING)

TALKING1
Do what what? Why, sure, Sweetheart, I'll vacuum the floor. Oh, yeah! That's it! Down just a little. Now, over to the right. What? You want to buy a new dress? Well, be-bop-a-loo-la! Take all of my credit cards. Ha, ha, ha! Wait a minute! Don't leave me here like this! Aw, Honey, come back! Just one more little scratch. Please...! Take off my shirt? Oh, baby, you know what I like! Boney Maroney! Ho, ho! Let you fingers do the walkin'. Ha, ha, ha, ha...!

TAG:
I'VE GOT THE ITCH, AND I CAN'T SCRATCH IT
I'VE GOT THE ITCH, AND I CAN'T SCRATCH IT
I'VE GOT THE ITCH, AND I CAN'T SCRATCH IT

TALKING2
Ohhhhh...! Sweatheart, yeah! It feels so good, when scratch right there. Hmmm...