Story Behind The Song

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Song Description

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Lyrics

Ain?t Never Done Nothing Right

I remember the first house my Daddy ever bought. He was filled with pride, and I never forgot
The gleam in his eyes when they towed it up the drive

He found it on the tee vee, as I recall, just ninety-eight dollars down, was all
And a monthly payment of one twenty-nine, ninety five

Well, he jacked it up on that piece of land, stacked the cinder blocks with his own bare hands
Then he asked me to help him spruce it up a tad

We were almost done with the skirt and the trim, when I went to hand him the last piece of tin
And that?s when my whole life went right past bad

See, ol? Blue come charging out from underneath
And he wrapped his-self around my big feet
I started flailing, that tin went a-sailing
And stuck into Daddy?s thighs

He stood real still and he went all grey
Looked like a human TV tray
That was the day my poor old Daddy died

I ain?t never done nothing right in my whole life
Ever since that day when I killed my Pa
It ain?t been nothing but pain and strife
I just can?t seem to make things work
No matter how hard I try
I ain?t never done nothing right in my whole life

Well, my Daddy went to heaven to be with his spouse, and when he did, I guess he left me the house
And that monthly payment of one twenty-nine, ninety five

So, I figured I?d better get me a job, and one night, while I?m messing with the TV knob
I see this commercial, saying all I gotta do is drive

There?s a picture of a big ol? Peterbilt, and man, that thing?s loaded up to the hilt
Got a place to sleep, and even got a little tee vee

I showed up at six to apply for the gig. They took me out to that shiny rig
And I knew my luck had changed when they gave me the key

So, one day I married this beauty queen
I found at a rest stop in Bowling Green
She just climbed inside, and asked for a ride
Called herself Bobbi Jo

It was fate how our lives had intertwined
Turns out her Daddy was an uncle of mine
And I took her back to my old Kentucky home

But, I ain?t never done nothing right in my whole life
Ever since that day when I killed my Pa
It ain?t been nothing but pain and strife
I just can?t seem to make things work
No matter how hard I try
I ain?t never done nothing right in my whole life











When the honeymoon was over, I hit the road. I?s heading into Nashville to pick up a load
Set the cruise control, and reached for the TV knob

I turned the dial to the Springer show, and there was my own sweet Bobbi Jo
Telling the whole world about her secret life as Bob

Seems she wasn?t what she appeared to be, but, I swear she looked like a girl to me
Guess we had a lot more in common than I ever knew

Well, I tried to pull over but the cruise got stuck, and there was no stopping that big ol? truck
As she barreled down the ramp, into town, doing ninety two

She killed seven oak trees and a dozen birches
Four Waffle Houses and two Baptist churches
Into the Piggly and outta the Wiggly
Before that rig slowed down

By the time that Peterbilt had stopped
She took out one whole city block
And I couldn?t bear to go back to my hometown

?Cause, I ain?t never done nothing right in my whole life
I lost my job and they took my house
I couldn?t even manage to keep my wife
I just can?t seem to make things work
No matter how hard I try
I ain?t never done nothing right in my whole life

I decided right then, it was destiny, I?d just stay there and live on the streets
And make up songs of woe on my old guitar

I wasn?t there an hour when this slick looking guy, with a Stetson hat and a bolo tie
Reaches down and hands me a business card

He said, ?I?m from Warner Brothers, call me Jack?. Well, that threw me off and it took me back
To Porky and Bugs and Daffy, and that whole gang

He said, ?I like your toons? and I had to laugh. I thought, ?maybe this old boy is daft
He ?pparantly thinks that I might be Mel Blanc

But he sent a limo to pick me up
Spent three months recording my stuff
Gimme alligator boots and a rhinestone suit
And cash for all of my songs

Now I?m living off a big, fat advance
Play every night at the Cadillac Ranch
And it just goes to show what I?ve said all along

I ain?t never done nothing right in my whole life
Ever since that day when I killed my Pa
It ain?t been nothing but pain and strife
I couldn?t even manage to be a bum
No matter how hard I tried
I ain?t never done nothing right in my whole life

I ain?t never done nothing right in my whole life
Ever since that day when I killed my Pa
It ain?t been nothing but pain and strife
Been that way my whole life long
Everything I tried come out triple wrong
Hell, there?s a triple negative in the title of this song?
I ain?t never done nothing right in my whole life
I ain?t never done nothing right in my whole life