Story Behind The Song
From "Miss Gulch Returns!" -- off-off-Broadway show.
Song Description
She can pick up any bottle in the bar, but the men are another story.
| Song Length |
4:21 |
Genre |
Unique - Soundtracks, Jazz - Swing |
| Tempo |
Medium Slow (91 - 110) |
Lead Vocal |
Female Vocal |
| Mood |
Uptight, Engaging |
Subject |
Alchohol, Beer, Wine, Comedy, Funny |
| Similar Artists |
Queen Latifah, K.D. Lang |
Language |
English |
| Era |
1950 - 1959 |
| |
Lyrics
Booze, Mama told me, booze'll keep you happy 'til you're six feet under grass. And tho' I've toasted Mom in Heaven since I was six or seven, my happiness has never come to pass! When I find I'm hot to trot, Ma's advice goes down real nice but it just don't hit the spot. No, there's one drink they can't sell me; my Mom forgot to tell me: a man doesn't come in a glass. What good is whiskey? I've been through the best in the bar; whiskey ain't got whiskers wrapped around a cigar. Pour me a face black with bristle and watch me wet my whistle; just pour me a man! What good is Scotch, whether it's with or without the old twist? Scotch ain't got a watch around its hairy left wrist. Pour me a punk or pumped-up pinko and watch me get stinko! Just pour me a man! Liquor they say is quicker they say, but what I want's even quicker! (And it's thicker.) What good is beer? I've had enough to fill Niag'ra Falls; but beers ain't got two ears, two eyes, two arms, two legs, under a pair of overalls! Pour me a mug with a head on top; I'll chug him drop by drop and make him last as long as I can! And if he's inclined to be enamoured, I'll still end up hammered. Pour me a straight up... better make it a stiff one... Pour me a double nothin' but trouble man!
(2nd Chorus):
What good's Midori, a Hawaian liqueur at its best? Midori can't adore me while its flexing its chest! Pour me a fabulous former felon who gives me a mouth full of melon... Just pour me a man! What good is vodka? I've been drinking eight bottles a week! Can vodka beat a bod complete with godlike physique? I wanna come close to a concussion choking down my first White Russian! Just pour me a man! Liquor's a blast when you wanna get gassed; but I'm past just getting drunk! (Pour me a hunk!) What good's the bubbly, which I used to drink like a dunce. The bubble ain't worth the trouble; it only pops its cork once! Pour me a guy who gives me the jitters ev'ry time he gives me the bitters! Pour me a sizzling sixfoot spritzer! Pour me a nonstop, ("good to the last drop") Pour me a low-down, knows-how-to-go-down man!