Ernest Elwell

Ernest Elwell

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Country - General | Santa Barbara, California, United States
Total Song Plays: 723   
Member Since: 2011
   Last Login: over 30 days ago

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Plays:

170

Song Description

A fat and dumb old man loses his girlfriend/wife and wants her back despite his shortcomings. He is a lovable but oblivious guy who knows he is fat and dumb but can't believe he lost her and will do whatever he can to get her back, which at this post, consists of simply "Singing this song, just as best as I can hoping you'll come back to your big fat and dumb old man".

Story Behind the Song

I was in college and not coping particularly well with the reality that a girlfriend back home had moved on without giving much notice or drama. I was pretty much refusing to accept the impossibility that she wouldn't want to be with someone as perfect as me; Ah the delusions of youth. Anyway, I was writing a self-indulgent song which kind of devolved into how I couldn't count all the lessons I'd learned and how I couldn't count this and how I could count that, finally it occurred to me that one might conclude that I could not in fact count at all. This made me laugh and think about what a lovable, but less than perfect big fat and old man who was slightly lacking in the wits department might write if he found himself in the same situation. This song came out.

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Broadjam Member Reviews

very good, enjoyed everything about it 9.999

    - Charles Bunting

Great lyrics. Made me chuckle.

    - Benjamin Stone
Lyrics

Fat and Dumb Old Man
Well I can't count the times that I've been burned by you
And I can't count the low down dirty things you do
And I can't count all the mistakes in my life I've made
Then again I can't count anything I never made it past the second grade
Well I'm big and I'm dumb and I don't know what to do
I'd write you a letter but I flunked in English too
All I want is your sweet love just plain and true
Please don't base your love just on my IQ

Chorus:
'Cause I'll never get no PhD
And I'll never get no high school degree
But I'm singing this song
just as best as I can
hoping you'll come back to you big fat and dumb old man.

Well I know I'm not the best man that I could be
I spend my time in bars drinking naturally
I haven't even seen a book in ten or twenty years
But baby when you left me all I saw was tears

Chorus:
'Cause I'll never get no PhD
And I'll never get no high school degree
But I'm singing this song
just as best as I can
hoping you'll come back to you big fat and dumb old man.

My friends they tried to tell me I'd been left behind
She wasn't written letters but she was leaving signs
They said the writings on the wall
She's been telling lies,
Well I couldn't read the writing
But I could read your eyes

Chorus
Hey, I'll never get no PhD
And I'll never get no high school degree
But I'm singing this song
just as best as I can
hoping you'll come back to you big fat and dumb old man.

Song Length
3:11
Genres
Country - General, Country - Honky Tonk
Moods
Charming, Heartbreaking

Subject Matter
Heartbreak, Comedy, Funny

Similar Artists
Hank Williams, Toby Keith
Language
English
Era
2000 and later

Lyric Credits Timothy Ernest Elwell
Music Credits Timothy Ernest Elwell
Producer Credits Dennis Grovesner