Two For A Dollar (...Mister It's A Steal)

Story Behind The Song

This is a story about a kid who has special powers. He makes models of people in his neighborhood and their fears and shortcomings. He sells them to them in a form of blackmail so they aren't exposed.

Song Description

This is a song that I did in collaboration with Tony DiPofi, who is also on Broadjam.

Song Length 7:22 Genre Unique - Avant garde, Jazz - Lounge
Tempo Medium Slow (91 - 110) Lead Vocal Male Vocal
Mood Cool, Relaxed Subject 6th Sense, Intuition, General
Similar Artists Tom Waits, Don Van Vliet Language English
Era 2000 and later

Lyrics

Hey man...look
It's little Jimmy Simms
Sellin' his back-alley monster kids
He's an electric epileptic
Givin' everyone the white ghost shivers and fits
He's electronic, he's messianic
He's a tonic to himself, that's for sure
He's his own best friend's worst enemy
He's the problem and the cure
He shouts, "Two for a dollar"
Somethin' ain't right with his eyes
Been lookin' at the sun through a cellophane sky
His old took a powder and his momma ain't wise
To his preoccupation vacation and his dwindling size
Cuz he don't have time for repast
He has important work to do
Now where did that tube of Testors get to?
The neighbors complain
He's strange and he's always underfoot
The kid should be locked up, man
Just take a look
At the monsters he's creating
And just who he sells them to
It ain't right that he affixes the mummy's head on backwards with glue
Two for a dollar...mister it's a steal
He mixes their parts
They look so pathetically real
Two for a dollar...mister it's a steal
But they just don't look natural
And they frighten old Mrs. Carrol
And even though we don't want 'em
We buy 'em cuz he's got us over a barrel
Two for a dollar...mister it's a steal
Yeah, two for a dollar
Somethin' ain't right with that boy's eyes
Been lookin' at the sun through a cellophane sky
Yeah, he sold one to that drunk social worker
And one to that cross-eyed whore
And one to that junkie cop that lives next door
Of a lop-sided monster
That had a golden arm that dragged along the floor
He sold one to that Salvation Army lad
Who wears a mini-skirt dress
Yeah, she ran off crying, to hid it, or to confession, I guess
Two for a dollar...mister it's a steal
Yeah, that boy can read your mind
He knows you're a monster
And that you're one of a kind
Yeah, he'll make a model special, just for you
You can hide it on some dusty closet shelf
Yeah, two for a dollar
Two for a dollar
Yeah, maybe if we give him enough rope
Maybe he'll hang himself
Yeah, if we give him enough rope and glue
Maybe he'll hang himself
Yeah, if we give him enough rope, man
Maybe he'll hang himself
In a polystyrene tree, nice and tall
Yeah, then again, if we give him enough rope
Maybe he'll hang us all
Yeah, maybe if we give him enough rope
Maybe he'll hang us all
Yeah, then again, if we give him enough rope
He'll hang us all
Maybe he'll hang us all
Maybe he'll hang us all
Hang us all
Maybe he'll hang us all
Two for a dollar
Two for a dollar
Mister it's a steal

Lyrics Tony DiPofi Music Lindsay Feuling
Producer Lindsay Feuling Publisher Tony DiPofi and Lindsay Feuling
Performance Tony DiPofi (BMI) and Lindsay Feuling (BMI)

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