Ben Sands

Ben Sands

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Folk - Contemporary | Newry, Ireland
Total Song Plays: 14,720   
Member Since: 2003
   Last Login: over 30 days ago

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Plays:

555

Song Description

Problems of staying on a Diet

Playlists this song is on:
Playlist CreatorPlaylist NameDate Added Reverse Sorted
Lyrics


BACK ON THE DIET ON MONDAY

Words & Music: Ben Sands

Chorus
I?m going back on the diet on Monday,
No more French Fries, chocolate or gin;
Right after midnight on Sunday,
It's back on the diet, I've just got to try it,
It's back on the diet again.

Last week 1 went to the doctor - in with a pain in my toe,
He looked at me over his glasses then spoke in a voice grave and low;
Just step up on the scales there, dear me just as 1 feared -
If you don't lose some pounds you won't still be around
By the time next Christmas is here and he said

Chorus

Going next day to a party, thought I'd try on some new gear;
Selected the usual sizes but the problem was soon very clear;
In spite of straining and stretching, buttons flew off left and right;
I couldn't fit in a thing as the zippers went ping and even the tie was too tight.

Chorus

Saturday night to the Tavern, in for a half?un or three,
Came back home around midnight, found I'd forgotten my key;
Tried to get in through the window - got myself stuck half-way in:
Hind-quarters out with hailstones about, shoulders and head in the bin

Chorus

So farewell fry in the morning, so long whiskey and beer,
Bye-bye battered cod and chips - your days are numbered I fear;
Hello bran and cornflakes, cottage cheese and black tay
Fruit by the bagful, nuts by the mouthful, tomatoes and lettuce pray

Chorus


Song Length
3:18
Genres
Folk - Contemporary, Folk - Country
Tempo / Feel
Medium Fast (131 - 150)
Lead Vocal
Male Vocal
Moods
Jovial, Cheerful

Subject Matter
Comedy, Funny, Junk Food


Language
English
Era
2000 and later

Lyric Credits Ben Sands
Music Credits Ben Sands
Producer Credits Ben Sands
Publisher Credits Elm Grove Music
Performance Credits Ben Sands, Johnny Scott, James Blenner-Hasset, Rod McVey
Label Credits Spring Records