Story Behind The Song

:) I think the song descriptions hit it pretty well... but I actually started writing this song (musically) around age eleven. My father would upset me sometimes, and this was one of my favorite melodies to play to calm myself. I hadn't touched it in years, when I ran across the notes written down in letter format on some school note-book paper. Feeling nostalgic, I sat down to play it and it hooked me. I had it recorded within a week and the lyrics just kind of "fell out". (Tell you the truth, they disturb me a little too.) I can't explain it as much as I'd like to. I just know this song has echoed in my sub-conscious mind for over ten years before being set in stone (or DAT, as it were) and so there must be a reason for it somewhere. Perhaps you can tell me!

Song Description

Ambient and heavy, rolling and hypnotic, the lyrics speak the thoughts of a woman engaged in an idolatrous, sadomasochistic love relationship.

Lyrics

Oh, don't you think that I must know?
I've, felt that way before and I can't...
I can't stand to see the tears I've
Brought to your face and I fall... I fall....

Down on my knees and I
Pray for forgiveness, and I,
Hear the words you whisper:
"Do you trust me?"
"Am I dying?"

Take my life, I will give it as a sacrifice.
And if I fall again, I'll look to you for dicipline.
Be my lord, I will ask of you nothing more.
I chose to love and serve exaltant as I live and learn.

So did you think you'd be alone?
When leaving... leaving still could not save my soul and you know
Shame can be a burden and a chain to strong to break.
Maybe that's what kept me here...
I'm guilty, sick, I'm weak, I fear.

Inside I'm burning but I hide what I feel is reaching out.
And I cry as you kiss me;
"Do you love me?"
"Do you love me?"

Take my life, I will give it as a sacrifice.
And if I fall again, I'll look to you for dicipline.
Be my lord, I will ask of you nothing more.
I chose to love and serve exaltant as I live and learn.
You own me....

Now be the man that I know I want you to be
And walk away. You will be stronger.
There is no salvation....
No salvation, in sympathy.

Take my life. Take my life.
I will give. I will give to you.
I will sacrifice.
Do you know what lust can do?
I'll bare my soul, to you....
You own me.... you own me...
But somehow in worship I am free.