New here. Scholarly songwriter/producer/TAXI member since 1999. BMI Affiliate/Publisher. Still cute at 40-something. Also a published political author/satirist and online columnist. Recovering from concussion!

Strengths: Solution-oriented. Edit as a way of life. Dependably warm. Smartie.
Difficulties: Physical limitations due to girl bones and muscles. Decisive; not a good quality for a Libra.

Short list of Best Artist Developments: Sam Tinnesz, Nathan Mayberry, Meredith MacDonald, and Ed Unger (of fame--I was the "angel" who kept him fed during the start-up).

All-time favorites: Fagen & Becker. Pete & Pat.

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Wack-Ins Welcome!

Wack-ins Welcome!
by Susan Jolly
Copyright 2006

The party according to Ann Coulter apparently has its own club, and she’s inviting alleged petty shoplifter Claude Allen into the billfold. Good-ol’ boy Ann extols Claude’s virtuous past--are we supposed to infer that she’s as pure (read: deranged) as this “talented, intelligent, magnificently conservative black man?”

Claude Allen’s illustrious background as #2 (Claude was the shit!) at Health and Human Services and later Bush’s domestic policy advisor only proves that Claude has had plenty of time to learn how to cheat the system from the best.

So, Claude doesn’t drink. I guess what born-again Christians do for fun is frat-boy pranks like buying cartloads of stuff to keep and getting refunds on different cartloads of identical stuff. Maybe this scheme is Claude’s domestic policy cash-back program to help with home-schooling his four kids. Ann’s club must have an 11th Commandment Amendment just for Claude: Thou shalt not pay. *

Of course, good-ol’ lawyer Ann ignores the criminally offensive angle in favor of the Educated-Black-Family-Man-Formerly-In-The-Bush-Administration angle. She inserts the obligatory Clinton-Only-Had-One-Black-Secretary-barb, and Condi Rice stars as the Other-Black-Bush-Administration-Official who’s also done nothing wrong. You’d methink Ann doth read some Shakespeare in law school. Too much.

Berating the New York Times coverage of Allen’s adventures in customer refunds, besides the crusty old “three strikes” analogy, Ann’s stoop-d’tat sentence in her latest “Revenge of the Queers” was this one:

“I've never seen people enjoy another person's private pain so much — at least not since a prosecutor started investigating Rush Limbaugh for taking too many back pain pills.”

Maybe Ann would like to play a lengthy, perversely pleasurable game called Revenge of the Quotes. I don’t have that long to live--but I will guess that private pain is neo-speak for unmentionable illegal activities of famous people. In my club, private pain has unmentionable non-illegal activity of normal, non-sociopathic people status, but we were talking about Ann’s club.

So we know presumed-innocents Claude Allen, Rush Limbaugh, and (by default) Bill O’Reilly are potential recruits. How about Ken Lay? Scooter Libby? One-Shot Cheney? Tom DeLay? Jack-who? Ann will need to offer more than the full Ten Commandment Amendments to attract paying * membership:

~Bush is the Lord thy God, thou shalt suffer His word without end.
~Thou shalt worship no other God, blaming thou the graven image before Bush for all disasters.
~Thou shalt not speak the name of the Lord thy God in private pain. Got that, Jack?
~Remember the Election Day, and keep it holey.
~Honor thy father and thy mother, especially if they have offshore accounts.
~Thou shalt not kill, unless provoked, fixing-policy or not.
~Thou shalt not commit adultery, but mistresses and porn aren’t really sex.
~Thou shalt not steal. Call it suggested retail price instead.
~Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor except for political capital and pre-emptive war.
~Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, wife, ass, etc., only thy 2006 percent mark-up.
~Thou shalt not pay, in any way, shape, or form. *

Wouldn’t you know, I’d also like to suggest a name with lots of W’s for Ann’s club---Wack-ins Welcome--and she’ll need a slogan. Keep the W sticker. Lose the Wisdom.

  • Member Since: 2006
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