Story Behind The Song
Just sitting around the house one day, wondering why the great marketing machine that is corporate America had never thrown any muscle behind selling cellulite as a positive thing ... so I decided to help.
Song Description
A different kind of love song.
| Song Length |
4:22 |
Genre |
Unique - General, Country - Honky Tonk |
| Tempo |
Medium (111 - 130) |
Lead Vocal |
Female Vocal |
| Mood |
In High Spirits, Affable |
Subject |
Comedy, Funny, Girls, Women |
| Language |
English |
Era |
2000 and later |
Lyrics
Got a new catalog in the mail / Victoria Secret?s best
Thirty-five pages of skinny girls / And twenty pairs of artificial breasts
People put the girls on pedestals / And worship their perfection from afar
But I?d rather be a curvy version of me / Than an anorexic, food-o-phobic star
Oh!
Ch. Why isn?t cellulite beautiful / Why isn?t who I am enough
Dimples on cheeks make a girl look cute / So what?s wrong with dimples on her butt?
Why is being round considered a crime / When that?s what God intended all along?
Why isn?t cellulite beautiful / Could evolution really be so wrong?
You know, just the other day I was watching TV / And on comes Miss Jenny Craig
Holding a picture of a smiling lady / Standing in one pant leg
She says, ?You could be just as skinny as me / And then your sex life will be just fine - but first --!
To the phone you must lumber / And dial this phone number
And send a check for $19.99!?
Slim Fast, Metabolife, Diet Rite and Herbal Life / Thigh Master, Buns of Steel
Dexatrim, Chromaslim /Or lipo-suck it out of them
We buy all that and still feel fat!
Well, I?ve never seen an elephant cry / ?Cause she?s worried about her size
And you?ll never hear a polar bear shed a tear / Stressing about her thighs
Whales need their blubber to stay afloat / And bears to survive their winter sleep
So I?m gonna trust that body fat is a must / And about my lumpy thighs no longer weep Oh!
CHORUS