Story Behind The Song

I was at Hastings playing in a chess tournament, due very shortly afterwards to have a fasting blood test. I was concerned that I would find doing this very difficult

Song Description

The singer determinedly tries to think of various things apart from food, but every time his thoughts end up back with food again

Lyrics

Henry Tudor often thought
Of battles that his armies fought
His lust for women knew no bounds
But didn't make annulment grounds
He ate a lot and got quite stout
And ended up with painful gout.

They're testing me to death
I'll soon draw my last breath
12 hours without a bite
I'm sure that can't be right
Who needs a blood test anyway
I'll think of something else today

Astronauts went off in space
To win a propaganda race
But whizzing round the earth you know
Would sadly cost a lot of dough
It's tricky eating up in space
Food drifts and won't stay in one place

They're testing me to death
I dread my final breath
Oh boy I need a bite
I'm told that's not all right
I hate those blood tests anyway
I'll think of something else today

I'll think of something else today
Won't sit and dwell on food all day
My thinking on it will be small
I'll hardly think of food at all

Scott went off to find the pole
To get there was his only goal
His planning let him down a bit
He should have stayed at home, the twit
A blizzard gave their hopes a dent
They starved to death in some cramped tent.

They're testing me to death
They'll hasten my last breath
I dreamed I had a bite
A shame that won't be right
I wish these thoughts would go away
Don't want to think of food today.