Story Behind The Song

I've done time in office dronery of every description, and it finally became too much.

Song Description

A rant on the horrors of office life.

Lyrics

I'm fighting elevator shock coming upstairs
My bathroom's got a spot in the tile floor
Wonder what the mailer daemon threw away
An order for the Pokemon Yellow, fucking yay
My stapler is an inch from where it used to be
Bastard's gonna lose a hand if he crosses me
Priority message from my boss's tweaks:
"Change everything you've done for the past twelve weeks"
The window is open not five feet away
That moth's flown in and out nearly three times today
The breeze blows freely through my hair, but
The stapler's not moving, bastard better be prepared
The door's unlocked, but the seats stay filled
The monkey bars are lonely and the people stay pilled
The site is taking shape for the prison yet to build
And the doors are wide open, but the church stays filled
I remember once upon a time as a boy, I...
Goddammit, what the hell is that making that noise
If the kid wants a refund, who am I to tell her no
And get her mother on the email and her father on the phone
Someone jacked the printer paper, where'd you put it now
If you leave it where I put it, who's the fucking bastard now
There's no coffee in the breakroom, where'd my network login go
If you touch my fucking Dilbert doll, I'll break your fucking nose
The doors stay open but the seats stay filled
The lid is childproof, but the people stay pilled
The price has gone up for the prison yet to build
And the doors are wide open, but the church stays filled
The wristband is tight where the velcro meets
Yeah, carpal tunnel sucks, but I'm never on my feet
If the meeting could last just five minutes more
My brain would atrophy and I would melt into the floor
Those hackey-sacking tech fucks made me spill my drink
Garlic bagels in the hallway, now my office stinks
Don't know if I can make it through the seven hours more
They can't make it to my desk before I make it to the door
The door stays open but the seats stay filled
The lid is childproof, but the people stay pilled
The price has gone up for the prison yet to build
And the doors are wide open, but the church stays filled