Bifocal Blues

Story Behind The Song

Like most of my songs, a true story.

Song Description

Woman gets her first pair of bifocals and laments in a humorous way.

Song Length 3:00 Genre Blues - Gospel, Blues - General
Tempo Medium Fast (131 - 150) Lead Vocal Female Vocal
Mood Jovial, Cheerful Subject Comedy, Funny, Heaven
Similar Artists Peter, Paul & Mary, Joan Baez Language English
Era 1990 - 1999

Lyrics

I went over the hill at thirty, Then I turned the big 4 ? 0.
The doc took a look at my glasses & he said, ?Ma?am, these have got to go?
Your problem is quite common among folks same age as you
I?ll write you a prescription; yes, that?s what I?m gonna do:

CHORUS:
You need some BI, You need some FO
You need some bifocals
You need 4 eyes, 6 eyes, Yes ma?am
You need some BI, You need some FO
You need some Bifocals
You must be getting old! You must be getting old.

I said, ?Doc, you must be crazy! Can?tcha check me one more time?
How could this be hap?nin to a female in her prime?
There gonna call me an old lady! I said, Granny?ll be my name?
I?ll cast ?em all a withering glance through my classy wire-rim frames CHORUS

(firting routine)

I can?t predict the future, but they tell me it?s a fact
Just gimme another 20 years for Operation Cataract.
And when I?m dead and buried, Honey, when I?ve run my race
I plan to meet my Maker with no glasses on my face
I?m gonna greet Him with no BI (no bi)
I?m gonna meet Him with no FO (no fo)
I?m gonna see Him 20-20; I won?t need these any mo?
I?m gonna greet Him with no Bi (no bi)
I?m gonna meet Him with no FO (no fo)
I?m gonna see my precious Savior
With no glasses on my nose! (no bi, no fo)

this is a great story

A cute unique song that is well written and well delivered. Production is pro and the emotion of the vocalist is top notch. Think i'll play this song for my optometrist soon. LOL!

Fun song! Nice upbeat sound.

A very funny song! For comedy cinema is what is needed!

Arlo Guthrie has got a bone to pick with you, baby.

like the variations of singing and vocal creations, the artist was very upbeat and engaging

Very entertaining. Nice guitar playing. I think this song might be used in a comedy of some sort so there is some market potential. Continue having fun with your music. I could certainly hear it in your delivery. :)

I heard this in gospel blues category and I don't think it fits here. I think a much better fit in the unique column. Singer is right on pitch, emotive with good feeling. Lyrics are the strongest component and reflect a lot of effort and writer-conscienciousness. My ratings mostly based on fact I felt song was in wrong category. All best, Hattie

I Love your music!

Apparently a live performance. Entertaining comedic lyrics and story. Great energy and character presence.

Powerful vocal and solid guitar playing.

Nice idea for a song, vocal on this is spot on, instruments are alright

Lol i defiantly enjoyed this song its fun and catchy and the message was right on point and the message of healing in the presence of God is what i got from it i would love to hear more you have the perfect sound to reach the youth .

Really cool song. I liked very much the singing style. Enjoyed listening.

I don't consider this as Gospel.

i think its a fun song for children, or a way to get teenagers attention.

Beautiful.........great work......fab lyrics......made me smile from minute one.......these songs either work or they don't........and this DOES !

Nice old-time folk blues feel. The joy of jug band music comes through. You are clearly having fun and it is infectious. The lyrics and delivery are personal, I feel you. The timing and phrasing is very good.

I like the vocals and the rhythm guitar.

Wow. This song fits into a genre I can best describe as Folk Showtunes. My recommendation is to either stick with the folk or stick with the showtunes but do not mix!

funny song. wasn't what i was expecting. lol
enjoyable jokey track .

not a bad song didn't get a gospel feel from it but nice vocals

original, like the lyrics, and its fun

Really nice song

This appeared under Blues/Gospel. It is more Theatre/Comedy.
I enjoyed it. It was good fun and that rarest of musical things - original. Well done. (Liked the human trumpet too.)

This is a cabaret number. Not my style, but it is nicely delivered.

Lyrics Kate Carpenter Music Kate Carpenter
Producer Jamie DeFrates Publisher Kate Carpenter
Performance Kate Carpenter Label Kate Carpenter

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