Story Behind The Song

I was about to cross at a four-way stop when I heard a horn honking. A huge, black hearse blew through the stop sign a vanished over the hill. I wondered what explanation the driver would have to give for being so obviously late. Or what he would have said had he killed any foolish pedestrians on the way to the cemetery. So, I wrote a song about that.

Song Description

A hearse puts the pedal to the metal to get a stiff to the grave on time.

Lyrics

There's a tardy hearse with a body in the back
and the mourners are standing in the pouring rain.
I'll make you a bet, five'll git you ten,
That boy won't beat that light on Main.

There's a cranky priest, checkin' his watch,
Got another one to preach today,
And the widow in the street, just a-stampin' her feet,
Shoutin' things a widow oughtn't to...

Say, I know your folks, your daddy went to school with mine.
I seem to recollect he died in '89.

Anyway, here he comes, took a right on Fifth,
Runnin' all the signs he should behave.
It makes you think he might kill more
Tryin' to get that body to the grave.

He said he didn't care, we could bury him up there,
In the hills with a shovel and a prayer.
"Tune up all your rusty strings, let every Christian sing,
I'm gonna dance when I go to see my King."

But that brought tears to her eyes, she said it wasn't civilized,
A man should stick around even when he dies.
"I'd rather bury you in town, and see your body lowered down,
With a wooden marker stickin' in the ground."

There's a tardy hearse with a a body in the back
And the mourners are shoutin' and cheerin' him on.
A fellar could make a tidy haul
'fthat boy don't make it to the lawn.

The man in black must be his boss;
I bet that there'll be hell to pay,
And the driver in the hearse with the body in the back
Won't live to drive another day...

He got a body back across the county line,
Ten minutes flat, I wonder if he'll beat that time.

Get your shovels out, dig another hole,
We got another one to plant to day,
For the driver in the hearse with the body in the back
Just hit that widow in the way.