Story Behind The Song

This is really just the story of me moving back to Portland after living in Southern California for just over eight years. It?s something I felt I had to do at the time, but in the back of my mind I always wish I hadn?t. I moved back here, put on a raincoat, cut my hair, met a gorgeous girl who could not tell the truth to save her life, I thought I loved her but didn?t, I tried to forget that I didn?t like it here, and the band that I moved back here to join broke up before we ever played a single show. However, I can not get the music out of my head, so I just keep plugging away. Sometimes I really think I am foolish for staying in a place that I don?t like all that much, and I?ve always told myself that if I ever make any real money at songwriting I will move back to California. However, if I do that then I run the risk of not having anything to complain (write) about, but somehow I think I?d be able to find something. John

Song Description

A story about relocating for various reasons, and then regreting it later, but being somewhat optimistic about the whole thing.

Lyrics

not gonna fade

i told my belongings
that i sold all my friends
drew a line on the map
to where everything ends
i put on a new coat
took off my hair
i went looking for me
but i wasn?t there

i got off the highway
and got into bed
with a beautiful girl
she was beautifully dead
i told her my story
she told me a lie
so i told her i loved her
then told her goodbye

i?m not gonna fade if you water me down
i?ve got rust in my soul from the rain on the ground
it falls on the face of the earth everyday
and i?m just the fool who gets in the way

as it drift in this ocean
of real and regret
i try to remember
what i tried to forget
i know why i came here
but not why i stayed
the show never started
and the band never played

i?m not gonna fade if you water me down
i?ve got rust in my soul from the rain on the ground
it falls on the face of the earth everyday
and i?m just a fool

i?m not gonna fade if you water me down
i?ve got rust in my soul from the rain on the ground
it falls on the face of the earth everyday
and i?m just the fool who gets in the way

i'm rusted i'm wasted i'm comming undone
i'm tired of living underwater
i could use some sun
i'm troubled i'm twisted i'm torn in two
i said i wasn't gonna fade
but i guess i lied to you
i can feel it
i can feel it
i can feel it coming on
i'm fading into nothing
like the ending of a song...


lyrics ©2003 john martin
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