Grandpa Brought a Hooker Home for Christmas

Song Description

The title says it all: Grandpa brought a hooker home for Christmas.

Song Length 3:13 Genre Unique - Holiday

Lyrics

Grandpa Brought a Hooker Home for Christmas

The lights were hung, the cookies baked
The doorbell chimed its merry call
Our friends and family filled our home
With Christmas cheer for one and all

The children, they all laughed with joy
Their uncles sang a festive song
Peace and hope were in the air
--the hope that things would not go wrong

Grandpa brought a hooker home for Christmas
Unwrapped her on the floor beneath the tree
Grandpa brought a hooker home for Christmas
But not one of the finest quality

She only had six press-on nails
And so she left two fingers bare
It's decades since her better days
But Grandpa wasn't one to care

'ol Grandpa had those cataracts
He'd fully lost his sense of smell
At least she truly was a "she"
Yes, that's one thing that Gramps could tell

Grandpa brought a hooker home for Christmas
Unwrapped her on the floor beneath the tree
Grandpa brought a hooker home for Christmas
But not one of the finest quality

Huffing, puffing, madly stuffing
His sweet pumpkin's pie
Then his ticker gave a flicker
And Grandpa went bye-bye

Grandpa brought a hooker home for Christmas
Unwrapped her on the floor beneath the tree
Grandpa brought a hooker home for Christmas
But not one of the finest quality

Grandpa brought a hooker home for Christmas
Unwrapped her on the floor beneath the tree
Grandpa brought a hooker home for Christmas
Now he's smiling for eternity

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