Lyrics

"Dear Brooks - This letter is not intended to cause any embarrassment in whatever form, rather it is intended to contact your esteemed self,following the knowledge of your high repute and trust worthiness. Firstly, I must solicit your confidentiality. I am BARRISTER GREEN NWANKWO, personal attorney to Mr. Silvester Brooks, a national of your country, who used to work with ShellPetroleum Company in Nigeria. My client and his entire family were involved in a fatal motor accident,which unfortunately claimed their lives, along the Sagamu express road, sparing none of the occupants of the vehicle. I have since then made enquiries to locate any of his relations, and have not been productive."

My roommate wakes me up by singing, "Rise, compatriot!"
These LCC nights take their toll I must admit,
& Abiona works two pubs ("Shamrock & Harp" one's called, I think);
At least the juke's got some Kuti that she can sing as she slings the drinks.

Play to white guilt & greed,
Pride in being cleverer
Than me.
(Use broken English charm
& obeisance to disarm.)

"GOD BLESS YOU - I am Mrs Victoria Ani from Kuwait but now undergoing medical treatment in Nigeria. I am married to MR ALEX JONES, who worked with multinational oil company CHEVRON in Nigeria for nine years before he died. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $7 Million in with one finance/security company. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next couple of months due to cancer problem. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or better yet a christian individual."

The Monday morning office drive: I'd really rather slog
Jankara's traffic than this Picadilly fog.
Ajaji crosses himself, thinks he's hooked an RMK.
"I've tried that baiter's name before; don't bother praying," I'm sorry to say.

Play to white guilt & greed,
Pride in being cleverer
Than me.
(The novelty enthralls;
Condescension frames the fall.)

"My name is Mr John Dasuki a Custom Officer attached to the Apapa Wharf in Lagos-Nigeria, and presently in a dillema about what to do on a large Consignment we intercepted at the harbour about two Months ago. If I was told this, I would never have believed even considering the wide spread of scams and frauds rocking Africa and other Countries alike. After the inspection of the seizure we discovered it contained a large amount of money believed to have diverted from the Government coffers by Politicians, totalling 8.5 Million USD and was on it's way to the Overseas for their cronies. This consignment unbelievably was declared by these faceless people as artifacts."

"ATTN:Sir/Madam - My name is Mr David Peters, The Branch Manager, of Allstates Trust Nigerian Bank. I am writing in respect of MR. EDWARD BROOKS, a deceased passenger who died in 1997 in a ghastly plane crash on Senegal airways. This crash happened near the capital city and the registration number of the Aircraft is 6AV-AEO, and since his untimely death the funds has been dormant in his account, I personally has watched withkeen interest to see the next of kin but all has proved abortive as no one has come to claim his funds of Twenty Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars which has been with my branch for a very long time."

"Dear friend - I wish to begin by way of introduction. I am Kenneth Masuku, the first and only surviving son of late Marc Masuku the most popular in Nigeria who was recently murdered in the land dispute in my country. Before his death, my father deposited the sum of $30.5 million. This amount was meant for the purchase of new machineries and chemicals. This land dispute started when the president introduced a new land reform, which resulted in the gruesome killing of rich farmers (mainly whites) and the unlawful possession of their properties by war veterans and some lunatics in the society, under the disguise of fighting for the interest of the country."

"Dear Brooks - I am Barrister Anthony Chukwu, Principal Attorney to Late Engr. Roy E Brooks, who used to work with a Multi-National oil Firm in Nigeria.Who is my client, but unfortunately lost his life on terrorists attack of 11th September 2001 in [WTC] NEW YORK. Since then I have made several inquiries to locate any of my clients extended Relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful.After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to contact you since my client has thesame surname with you, it shall proved you as his next of kin and the bank will transfer the money left behind by my client to your account as his next of kin without suspicious."

My stomach's center cannot hold to hear my sister prostitute
Her clear & honest laughter forced for loose change from these brutes
We yab on later. I'll June 12th them all, I'll tap their currencies,
& sign the emails, "LOL, Barrister King Wasiu, rich JJC!"

Play to white guilt & greed,
Pride in being cleverer
Than me.
(No Pidgin phrases, jọ;
Polite speech brings in more dough.)

"It is against this background that I fled the country with my family, to Europe where we are currently seeking asylum. I have decided to seek foreign assistance, as the law prohibits asylum seekers from operating bank account, hence this letter to you. My family's survival depends on this money as we have virtually lost all our assets. The information in this email is confidential, please, if you are not interested destroy this message, delete any copies held on your systems immediately.You should not retain, copy or use this email for any purpose, nor disclose all or any part of its content to any other person.
Yours in Christ,
BARRISTER GREEN NWANKWO."