Another Round of Investigations-

CEO and founder of plant under fire for "encouraging and abetting weirdos"

Novi Sad, Serbia -- Andrej Popovitch has been coming to Rainglow Beach every weekday since its inception. When the retired philosophy teacher learned that a national public health organization wanted to shut the area down because of contamination concerns, he doused his body in neon orange lead paint and jogged down the streets of downtown Belgrade, "just to prove to these people that things they perceive as deadly or dangerous can, in actuality, inject vim and vigor into otherwise-lifeless human beings."

Popovitch is not alone. Although Rainglow Beach - which is really a discharge pool from the local nuclear power plant - is twenty miles from the nearest town and was created a few months ago, thousands of families and hundreds of international tourists have frequented the pool and surrounding area. An electric fence surrounds the 10,000 square-foot pond; a boy discovered a five-foot gap along with a large "Enter" sign duct-taped to the adjoining fencing and quickly spread tales of hot "electric spa" water bubbling up from the ground. Since that day in March, a formidable community has been forged - one that gathers in the name of health, family enrichment, and the occasional floating drumstick.

"I'm glad people are enjoying it," says Blank Paiges, owner of the plant. "I'm glad people can come together and just do the do, know what I mean? They even come in for cocktails and afternoon jam sessions. It's a real relaxed environment - but that doesn't mean I've lessened my plant's commitment to total electro-soul."

The 22-year-old native Minnesotan is referring to the inner operations of the plant, which recently made a wholesale conversion from pure funk emissions to a mish-mash of soul, electro, jazzy guitar, miscellaneous eccentricity, as well as "humor I don't expect non-employees to appreciate. In addition, I want to mention that it's a real pity there's only one person on the payroll who has yet to see a check."

This thing collectively dubbed "electro-soul" is plainly visible through the billowing, multi-hued clouds churning round-the-clock from four smokestacks and the same number of cooling towers.

"I've also got 'the clean people' on me for [the smokestacks and cooling towers]. It's still under investigation and I've nothing more to say about it." (See 4/26/06 edition of Dispatch for full story - ed.)

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a spokesman from the investigative body probing Paiges in both the smoke emissions and discharge pool said, "Ms. Paiges is encouraging and abetting weirdos who see wah-wah pedals and the house band from the Muppets on a Rorschach inkblot. She also believes that this so-called 'electro soul' has a place in society. She will either be liquidated or sent back to Remer, Minnesota to toil as a mail handler - again - at the United States Postal Service."

In the meantime, Paiges is promoting her latest batch of material, an eight-song LEP'er ("that's a cross between an EP and an LP") entitled "Reactor Number 4 (More than Electricity)," and continues to advocate the electric lifestyle through public speeches, radio broadcasts, newsletters, and various musical initiatives.

And those drumsticks? "Probably the wide drains we use. Those pesky sticks have a tendency of being flushed out of the plant when one of the locals drops them doing fancy twirls and tricks."