The Christmas Rap

Story Behind The Song

I have visited the NJ shore many times. The beaches are patrolled by officers on three wheels who enforce the law. Personally I received a speeding ticket a few years back leaving Wildwood afer a good vacation. While waiting for it to be resolved at the

Song Description

A comedic Christmas Hip-Hop tale about an ill-fated trip to the New Jersey Shore by an out-of-towner who becomes a victim of circumstance and winds up entangled by the local authorities. In the end, it is all a bad dream that he has on Christmas Eve after

Song Length 5:30 Genre Rap - Hip Hop, Unique - Holiday
Tempo Medium Fast (131 - 150) Lead Vocal Male Vocal
Mood Affable, Welcoming Subject Holidays , State
Similar Artists Will Smith, The Sugarhill Gang Language English
Era 2000 and later

Lyrics

This is the Christmas Rap
The Christmas Rap
If you can hear my voice
Put you?re hands together and clap

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year
Listen up, and of good cheer you will be
And don?t take every word so seriously
R.A.P
R.A.P
Wrap up, you?re presents with me
Now everybody sit down around the tree
Have some fun while the story is told
It starts out in the heat
But it ends up in the cold


Arrive on vacation, leave on probation
Arrive on vacation, leave on probation
Arrive on vacation, leave on probation

Welcome to the Jersey Shore, who could ever, ever ask for more

I was with my lady
She was really fly
It was the weekend of the
Fourth of July
The boardwalk was hoppin?
We had the sand and the sun
I cracked me a beer
Just to have some fun
I took two sips
?Fore I could turn around
It?s a cop on a three wheel without a sound
I didn?t know to look out for the beach patrol
I went there on vacation
Almost wound up on parole


THEN
He wrote out a ticket
And handed it to me,
Said ?you got till the end of August to pay the fee?
What could I do?
What could I say?
Man he really ruined
My Vay Kay

It was a boom to a bust
A bust for a beer

(Chorus)
Arrive on vacation leave on probation

SOOOOO,
In late August
I WENT to pay the fine
Got lost off the Parkway
I was running out of time
I pulled to the side
To ask a lady for directions
I leaned out the window
With only good intentions
I said hey baby
You know you?re way around?
She said ?hey buddy you?re not from this town?
She pulled out something shiny
And held it to her chest said
I?m an undercover hooker and
You?re under arrest



The Jersey Shore, the Jersey Shore
Who could ever, ever ask for more
Yea I wasn?t welcome, yea I shoulda known
When I saw the sign
?BENNIES GO HOME?

Chorus 1X
Arrive on vacation ?

Her backup was behind me
And before that I could blink
They clapped the cuffs around my wrists
And threw me in the clink
I hired a local lawyer
And he bailed me out real quick
He said pay attention
It?s really kind of sick
He said ?.

The cop that wrote the ticket
His name is Moe
The one that was the backup
That?s his brother Joe
The cop that was the hooker
That?s their little niece

And their uncle Harry is the chief of police

Arrive on vacation leave on probation
Charged with drinking in public
And solicitation

My head was really spinnin?
So he sat me in a chair
Said?.

?Right now these charges are up in the air?
I forgot to mention
The Judge is really slick
He?s a chubby old man
He?s Harry?s brother Nick
He jiggles when he laughs
He has a twinkle in his eye
And I know how to deal
With this little Tribe
It?s two grand for me
And three for the bribe

HEY
Don?t get mad at me
I hope you understand
New Jersey and corruption go hand in hand
So don?t do nothing naughty
And don?t commit no crimes
Our court date?s around Christmas time
I?ll keep you on my list
I?ll keep you in the know
I?ll wrap up both the charges
And tie it with a bow
I know it sounds absurd
I know it is insane
But they impounded you?re car
So you?ll have to take the train


Forget the time of year
Forget about the weather
Nepotism and New Jersey
Are ?PERFECT TOGETHER? (imitate Governor Keane)

WELLLLLLLLLL
The time passed by
And I was really nice
My story started in the Sun
But ends up in the ice
When the subpoena arrived
What did I see
My court date was for the A.M. of Christmas Eve
My lawyer called me up and said I?ll see you soon
Be on time
I?ll have you out before noon
When I got to court
Wouldn?t you know
I was a dude from Brooklyn by the beach in the snow
We stood in the dock
And what was giving me pause

It was uncle NICK dressed up as Santa Claus!

With some whiskey in his coffee there rose a little mist
He banged down on his gavel and said
?This case is dismissed?
They processed all my papers and wouldn?t you know
I was back on the street with my feet in the snow
I was out 5 grand
But hey I was free
They came out on the steps to wave goodbye to me
They all laughed as I tried to walk out of sight
Merry Christmas sucker
It?s been a delight!
But out came Uncle NICK
He was really nice
He said with a chuckle?

I?ll give you some advice
If you come back into Jersey
Bring you?re shovel and pail
And have it stuffed full of cash
So you can post you?re bail
?HO HO HO?? (EVIL SANTA LAUGH)

All this stuff
Was running thru my brain
I ran down the block so I could catch my train
As it pulled out I still heard laughter in my ear
Merry Christmas to all and a happy new year!

When I awoke on the morning of Christmas Day
My girlfriend had my presents in a beautiful array
?Hooray !?
Everything had not been as it seemed
My head was really pounding
It must have been a dream
She said ?Hey baby, you?re my Playa?
I said ?Honey I must?ve
Had a nightmare?
As I came around everything became clear
Next time I?ll eat the food
And take it easy on the beer!

This is the Christmas Rap
The Christmas Rap
If you can hear my voice
Put you?re hands together and clap
Bye Bye





Lyrics B. T. Wall Music B.T. Wall, Hubert Guy Jr, Matt D'Esposito, Steven Sadicario
Producer B. T. Wall Publisher B. T. Wall
Performance B.T. Wall, Hubert Guy Jr, Matt D'Esposito, Steven Sadicario
This track is on 1 Member Playlists
Playlist Creator Playlist Name Date Added
audioforce capri 2/3/2009

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