Wanda the Wiper

Story Behind The Song

The story IS the song. I really met Wanda on my 2004 tour...well her name is really Elaine Mason, and she is going to be famous because of her song. She sold the restaurant, but her fame as the wipiest wiper in Jesup, GA continues to grow.

Song Description

Songwriter meets funny waitress on a tour with a unique obsessive-compulsive behavior. Watch Wanda buzz around the restaurant wiping everything in sight and even opening up about her behavior to her customer.

Song Length 4:54 Genre Blues - General, Blues - Country
Tempo Medium (111 - 130) Lead Vocal Female Vocal
Mood Welcoming, Cheerful Subject Restaurants, Fun
Similar Artists Peter, Paul & Mary, Joan Baez Language English
Era 2000 and later


I passed through Jesup, Georgia in June, 2004.
All that singing and hard drivin' made my tummy roar.
I stopped at the local diner, stepped up to the door,
I picked out the perfect table, and walked across the spotless floor.

Fried green tomatoes, and sweet potato souffle
Along comes my waitress to pass the time of day.
But she's got ulterior motives. She don't just wanna converse.
She's wiping the stuff on my table, lookin' for a speck of dirt.

CHORUS: She's Wanda the Wiper, quick with a flick of her hand
She's Wanda the Wiper, armed against the germs of man.
She's Wanda the Wiper. Oooooo so spick and span
She'd wipa wipa wipe-away your sins if she could,
But she can't.

My table was gleaming, but she wiped it anyway.
Shined the salt and pepper shakers, and then like a ricochet (boop boop)
She wiped down the catsup, and the bottled barbecue.
Good thing I didn't have a runny nose, cuz she prob'ly woulda wiped that too.

"Obsessive-compulsive", that's what the doctor said.
She just cannot help it. It's deep inside her head.
She's gotta personal vendetta. After all, what could it hurt?
She's gotta to make this world a cleaner place, and her enemy is dirt.

Now I'm headin' homeward. Just look at the dash of my car.
I wonder when I last wiped it? Can't remember back that far.
I'd better go back and see Wanda. Dust mites and mold, beware!
She's the Queen of Antibacteria. So you all oughta be scared.

LAST CHORUS: She's Wanda the Wiper, quick with a flick of her hand
She's Wanda the Wiper, armed against the germs of man.
She's Wanda the Wiper. Dust Mites and Mold, Beware!
She's the Queen of Antibacteria, the Queen of Antibacteria!
The Queen of Antibacteria. And you all oughta be, you all oughta be
You all oughta be scared! Wanda the Wiper!

Nice comical catchy fun tune-- blues swing style is really applicable, vocal delivery and vocal arrangements are excellent, harmonic playing is spot on -- very well done, could have a place in the proper TV comedy scene or OCD character development or in a cleaning product commercial --

this song took me on a trip... very visual

Great start. Fun to listen to.

Great harp playing. Interesting subject.
Nice harmonies.

Great vocals and instrumentation. The harmonica adds great texture without being overbearing. Funny lyrics as well

Greta instrumentation and mix. Nice hook.

Outstanding. Quality of the mix and recording is great. Love the panning. Harmonica is great. Differentiating the later choruses was very good. Outro excellent.

Really good vocals and lyrics.I like it a lot. Very well done.

Nice harmonica accents. I think I would have preferred a guitar solo but the harp was cool.

You had me from the first note. I loved the vocals and Harmonica. Did you like specific instrumental parts--vocals and Harmonica 1) Does my intro make you want to hear the song? yes 2) Does my opening line draw you in and make you want to hear more? yes 3) Is my melody interesting? yes 4) Does my melody get stuck in your head? yes 5) Does my chorus stand out and take the song to a higher place? yes.

This sounds like pop crossed with blues/rock. The production is clean!

Sounds like a jingle instead

Fun, upbeat, and entertaining.

What a precious song! Love your voice!

Vocal pitching good
Nice production and instrumentation
Enjoyed the harmonica
Some thought gone into the song

nice job producer clear and refreshing music kudos to singer beautiful voice could listen all day this is a production maybe from Nashville

Singer kicks butt! Excellent arrangement as well.

Nice job! (Kate is that you?) Good little story, well told and well presented.

Clever and amusing little tune with some interesting lyrics in a jump blues style and out front vocals.

Nice swing groove

witty fun bluesy track. light and long. nice perforamance
the harmonica was cool , enjoyable track

HA HA!--I LOVE IT!---HEY--this song is WAY TOO CLEAN for me!--thanxs!--joe.

Lyrics Kate Carpenter Music Kate Carpenter
Producer Jamie DeFrates Publisher Kate Carpenter
Performance Kate Carpenter Label Kate Carpenter
This track is on 1 Member Playlists
Playlist Creator Playlist Name Date Added
Teri Feaser My Top Songs 11/18/2018

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Clean Clean

Clean Clean

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