I wrote this song after my first colonoscopy. After playing it at many parties and fundraisers, it has turned out to be pretty popular. Sing along and enjoy it! And if you're 0ver 50 be sure to get checked out. I had someone tell me they heard my song, went for the procedure and had colon cancer detected and treated early.

Song Lyrics

Take a Look Up Me (The Colonoscopy Song)
By Fred Ashforth © 2004

It’s really tough, turning fifty
The doctor, he’s got a plan for you
Starts talkin’ tests & procedures
Says this is what he’s gonna do. (Repeat line)

I said hold it, wait just a second
Somethin’ here, just don’t seem right
Explained it and it seems fishy, but
I’ll do it, and won’t put up a fight (Repeat)

Chorus
It’s a colonoscopy
Take a look up there and see
Clean that scope
With Ivory soap
I’ll roll, take a look up me. (Repeat)

I’ll tell ya, I’m pretty nervous
It’s a weird feelin’ deep in my gut
The idea of him takin’ pictures
With a big scope up my butt (Repeat)

Wondered what, he’ll see in there
Will he get lost without a map
It’ll be dark, really dark in there
As he maneuvers through all that crap (Repeat)

Chorus

But wait, you want me to drink what
To clean out my innards real good
And wow, that stuff cleaned me
Better than a roto-rooter could (Repeat)

All night, my bowels a rumblin’
Unbelievable smells and sounds
My wife’s theory stood corrected
By morning I’d lost 10 pounds. (Repeat)

Chorus

As I walked into the hospital
Did the “hold the cheeks in” dance
Sneezed in the blinding sunlight
Let loose in my new white pants (Repeat)

The nurse, after doing the papers
Asked would I like another go at the pot
It was nice of her to offer but
I’d gone in the parking lot. (Repeat)

Chorus

Bridge
If you, you are over 50
Get checked, don’t take a chance
But don’t laugh, cough or sneeze
And always where your brown pants. (Repeat)

Chorus

  • Member Since: 2006

Comments

Author
Martin Gate
over 30 days ago to Fred Ashforth

Hi, hope you're doing great? Do you have a single you would love to add on our playlist? Email mp3 file to radiomusicpromo78@gmail.com for guaranteed radio play to thousands of listeners who will like your style of music.



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