Song Description

Lorna was a middle aged housewife from English suburbia. 2.4 children? She had them. A nice house? You bet! A selfish slob for a husband? Yes, my dears, Lorna had it all. But she also had an uncomfortable feeling that she was beginning to find her boss very attractive. And to make matters worse munchkins, her boss was a woman called Sarah! In England we have The Daily Mail-a knee-jerk, semi-right wing middle class 'newspaper', that takes great delight in getting on its high horse & taking what it haughtily believes is the 'moral highground'. Imagine, if you'd be so kind, them giving our lovely Lorna some draconian advice as to how she must rid herself of her 'evil' sexual stirrings...

Lyrics

I came
I don't know no reason why
My life's a lie
I gotta know
Where deeper velvet lies
Fish finger pies
Oh no baby get me out of here
My libido's going crazy when her tushy's near
But I, live a reasonable life
Like any wife
She she takes me down to the river
I get all naked in the red moonlight
While my blue whale snores
Because!

Chorus. Is it too late for Lorna
She had all her life before her
Is there someone who can warn her?
That it's too late for Lorna!

I like her feminine things
Wait let me think!
And her thighs for miles & her nesty thing
God help me!
Every time she touches me I want to scream
Her lipstick on a cup from the coffe machine
Is my shrine
Or am I losing my mind?
She she makes me sing with the angels
Is there something I can buy
To take these loving pains away
Hey!

I took a course of pills
Like vitamins the Priest said
They cure all manner of ills
And most evils!
Now I can't remember what I was thinking of
There's a message on my mobile don't know
Who it's from
And I think about her only twice a day
Once after meals
Now, when i get jiggy with the blue whale
We use a thingy from Ann Summers
He says his boss is quite a boy
A boy!