Song Description

Ray Stevens style comedy song about a loser who buys a course on succeeding with a "Positive Mental Attitude" and goes about it the wrong way achieving only negative results and losing everything.

Lyrics

?Positive Mental Attitude Blues?
Words & Music by George ?Stoney? Sloan
Tel: 480-968-6199 ext. 226
email: sloan@usasn.com
©2003 George A. Sloan

(Intro :04 seconds)

(Verse 1)
Well, one Saturday night I stayed up ?til three [3:00 AM],
Watchin? late night movies on my TV,
I was so intrigued my eyes were glued right to the tube.
Well, I?d watched a movie ?bout a planet with apes,
When on came this show sellin? motivational tapes,
And some guy was talkin? ?bout Positive Mental Attitude.
He said, ?You can get rich, learn to sing,
Lose some weight, or do anything ?
All you have to do is change the way you think.?
Well, I ran to my phone, I couldn?t wait,
I gave my credit card number and expiration date,
And had those tapes on order ?quicker than a wink.?

(Verse 2)
They shipped ?em Two-Day Air, but to me
It seemed almost like an eternity,
So when they finally arrived I was ready to have fit.
Well, I watched ?em over and over again,
Tryin? to learn it all and get it into my head,
?Til I was so fired-up, I was ?chompin? at the bit.?
So, I wrote down my goals to achieve that day,
And first on the list was ?get myself a raise,?
So, I started tellin? myself that I was worth ?a whole lot.?
Well, I went to see my boss, in a positive way,
And told him I deserved an increase in pay,
And he just threw me out and fired me, right there on the spot.

(Chorus)
They told me a Positive Mental Attitude,
Would turn me into a ?Super Dude,?
But every time I try it out I only lose.
I keep tellin? my self that things are great,
But nothin? seems to want to cooperate.
Got the Positive Mental Attitude Blues.

(Verse 3)
Well, I?d lost my job but not my grit,
And I knew if I just stayed positive,
I could become an incredibly rich human being.
So, I put all my savings in investment schemes,
And keep visualizin? my goals my dreams,
But when I opened my eyes, man, I?d lost everything.
Okay, so I?d aimed for a goal and somehow missed,
But I knew somethin? good had to come out of this,
And I got this idea I could become a boxin? champ.
My first time in the ring I just knew I?d succeed ?
?Mind over matter? is all I?d need ?
But that guy licked me so bad I looked like a postage stamp.

(Verse 4)
Well, I was gettin? desperate, but not ready to quit,
When an opportunity came to make the ?big hit,?
As a daredevil jumpin? a motorcycle over a canyon.
But no matter how times I said, ?I know I can,?
I ended up at the bottom of Hoover Dam,
Floatin? down the Colorado completely disoriented and stunned.
Well, I just kept hittin? more bumps in the road,
And opposition makes us strong I?m told,
But I finally decided I really wasn?t havin? too much fun.
Now when a challenge comes I don?t put up a fight,
Oh, I still believe, I?m still positive alright,
Yeah, I?m absolutely positive that it can not be done.

(Chorus)
They told me a Positive Mental Attitude,
Would turn me into a ?Super Dude,?
But every time I try it out I only lose.
I keep tellin? my self that things are great,
But nothing seems to want to cooperate.
Got the Positive Mental Attitude Blues.