Story Behind The Song

I was watching a Pets.com commercial which ended "Pets.com: because pets can't drive." I thought to myself, "what if pets COULD drive? Not till pigs fly...." and so the song took form.

Song Description

How many times have you asked your folks if or when you could have or do something, and they answered, "Sure--when pigs fly"? Well, any kid loves to imagine "what if?" especially if it'd lead to an answer Mom & Dad can't top. (In the second verse, here's a subtle good-humored little message to Mom & Dad to kick a habit that's bad for then as well as for the family). I play this for kids of all ages and they and their folks love it!

Lyrics

If pigs could fly,
There would never be a famine or a war.
We wouldn't lock the door,
For crime would be no more.
If pigs could fly,
We would never ever need a root canal.
The dentist is your pal when swine can soar.
If pigs could fly then cake would make us thin.
And calories? They're history!
So pass the pie again.
If pigs could fly,
We would never have to pay another tax,
And we could all relax our worried minds.

If pets could drive,
Every cigarette would smell like vintage wine,
But taste like turpentine.
You'd quit in record time.
If pets could drive,
Every car would need a booster driver's seat.
And maybe if we're sweet they'll let us ride.
If pets could drive then catnip would grow wild,
And hairballs would be precious as
A painting by your child.
If pets could drive,
We would have to hang our heads outside the car.
A gallon would go farther than the sky,
If pets could drive and pigs could fly!