Song Description

A humorous tale about the roommate from hell.

Lyrics

This is a tale of sorrow, a tale of woe.
You might want to hold your children close.

Now boys, we should always choose our room mates wisely.
No one needs a dandy Don Juan on the loose,
With a sure fire system of lock-out signs.
Should never have agreed to room with that boy Bruce.

My first night out with Casanova in the house,
I returned to find his socks outside our door.
According to the last memorandum,
This meant the pair of them were sprawled upon the floor.

Bruce, Bruce, let me in.
I pay most the rent.
Don't make me tell you again.
Bruce, Bruce, let me in.
I pay most the rent.
Don't make me say it again.

The next night out I saw my sister Thelma
Who fears the fate of my eternal soul,
Who chased me home waving her Bible
With its pages gilded and binding black as coal.

I made my porch in a wild-eyed pagan panic,
Then stumbled in reaching for my keys.
The knob held Bruce's Yankee baseball cap
Which meant 'No Entry' even for emergencies.

Bruce, Bruce, let me in.
Sis's got me trapped
and she's startin' in on sin.
I say, Bruce, Bruce, let me in.
Got me in her sights,
aint no way I can win.

Last night I shot down to Burt's Burrito Barn
To break the bread with my big cousin Jake.
While the jalapeño plate lit the fires,
Putting beans inside that boy proved a huge mistake.

Jake's jalopy couldn't get us back fast enough,
And we had every window open wide.
Yet at home, a bowling shirt barred my way,
Leaving me to Jake and with no where now to hide.

Bruce, Bruce, let me in.
Big Jake?s cleaned his plate
and now he's talkin' 'bout wind.
And Bruce, Bruce, let me in.
Big Jake's got it bad
and it's peelin' off my skin.

And I?m sayin?, Bruce, Bruce, let me in.
Sis's got me trapped
and she's startin' in on sin.
I say, Bruce, Bruce, let me in.
I pay dang near all the rent.
Don't make me tell you again.


c. 2005 Rubber Blanket Music