Story Behind The Song

A story of addiction, death, life, and hope. Coming to the realization that sometimes we all need a little help. My story. This is the first song that I recorded after I "came back to life" in 2002. I had never done any home recording before that time. In fact it had been 10 years since the last time that I played guitar. It was done on a four track cassette machine so I am aware of the lack of sound quality. I re-mastered the original recording in the new studio that I have built. I was going to re-record a new performance of it but the original version has much more meaning to me.

Song Description

The song is about addiction and how, even though certain things may hurt or even kill us they can be hard to let go of.

Lyrics

I wanted to travel west this year
but it didn't work out that way.
My insanity has kept me here,
the same shit on a different day.

Still sitting in that same old place
I hadn't changed a thing
Still making all the same mistakes
the same results they'd bring

If I could change my soul like I change my clothes
I'd be a happier man today
I can't live like this, living for you
You've taken it all away.

I finally said that I needed some help
I couldn't do it on my own
I left you behind and I walked away
You should see the ways that I've grown

Taking the steps, whatever it takes
to stay away from you
It's behind me now, all the damage you've done
I'm starting off something new

I've changed my soul and Lord only knows
I'm a happier man today
with all the help that I've got and the things that I've learned
I can make it through today.