Story Behind The Song

A story song based on sexual politics and silliness

Song Description

Read The Rules and you'll get the idea

Lyrics

You must never open conversation.

You must only smile and look discreet.

Let him think you?ve got your reservations.

But when he speaks to you be very sweet.

Never give him all of you attention.

Let him think he?s got to plot and plan.

If he wants you he?ll show his intentions.

That?s the way to catch the modern man.



Some girls think they?ll win by being honest. (ha ha)

Some girls think that way there?s no regret,

But all the happy women with men promise

They?ve been successful playing hard to get.


I was once a loser too.

Didn?t know the rules

Why were all the men I dated

So standoffish and cruel?


That was back when I still bought my dinner.


That was back when I returned their calls.

But then I worked to get seven pounds thinner.

And started acting like a living doll.

And no man?s yet to call me false or worthless.

They?re all acting ga-ga and in love.

Lest you think this moral tale is mirthless.

Laugh! It?s modern man I?m speaking of!


Yes it?s just the way you?re mama taught you.

Men won?t buy the cow if they?ve got milk. (Got milk?)

Don?t put out or make him sure he?s caught you.

Unless you?re dressed in white satin and silk.


Just treat him like you can?t be sure you love him

But not as bad as someone you can?t stand.

He?ll put you on a pedestal above him.

That?s the way to catch the modern man.

Just one little caveat

Heed this warning call.

Once you?re on the pedestal

You must never fall.


You must never open conversation. (repeat first verse to end)