Story Behind The Song

The speaker of this song learns of path of abuse and destruction travelled by a highschool sweetheart in the ten years since they parted.

Song Description

Acoustic Guitar, Scratchy Male Voxcals. Folky Finger-picking ballad about domestic abuse, and loss. Also about the reality of finding out that the lovers and friends of one's childhood aren't always dealt the idealized version of life you dreamt for t

Lyrics

i wish i could have been there
on the curb with some courage
like a comic book hero or the local kid gone good
she was someone i once knew
ten years ago at public school
and he thought his fist was eloquent
but it was just the opposite
it was the monkey wrench in the printing press
that broke her jaw and stole her sense
of safety and warmth and humanity
and replaced it with violence and tragedy
how could he bear to live with this
she was the mother of his kids
and couldn't stand to loose them
for anything in the world

so fuck all this whiny emo shit
we can't talk of pain we don't know what it is
i've never been there
i've never been hit

and our ability for atrocity outstrips
our best attempts to speak
of the ugly things that go bump in the night
we are the ugly things lets get it right
and 4 out of 10 is conservative
as far as i can tell it is
cause i knew jen and jesse and jane
and none of them were ever the same
late at night on some quiet road
all alone after the show
one was a cousin a coach or friend
the other was the law meant to defend
and 12 years old outside the mall
i can't think of any further to fall
for a people or race consumed with hate
than to prey on ourselves in this heinous way

it just doesn't make sense
what we give is not what we spend
i dream in ideology
but i'd settle for justice for kate

and out of the desert where no water drinks
tonight i smell the breeze on the breath of the sphinx
there's a puzzle yet to this human race
and it runs down my cheek in my disgrace
and in my mind there's a plane on fire
it's circling up higher and higher
and the drops of oil scatter in the wind
it looks like heaven is raining sin
tonight i'm heavy with remembered dreams
we were very young and how strange that seems
i promised myself to the end of the sky
i'd keep you safe now i liar am i

i haven't seen you in a decade or more
and your road has been long and you're hot and you're sore
but if music could be a cool wet cloth
i'd cover your eyes and turn this off
this heat from the sun you've had to face
and the lines in your skin that won't erase
like empty dunes in the desert you left behind
i leave this oasis for you to find.
i give you this kate cause it's all i have
and it makes no difference my getting mad
and even if i could get even with him
i'd trade it just to see your smile again.